THE FILM CORNER'S 4TH ANNUAL TOP 10 HEROES OF CANADIAN FILM as selected by your Most Reverend Greg Klymkiw in this, the year of Our Good Lord, 2014 (in alphabetical order, of course)

THE TOP 10 HEROES OF CANADIAN CINEMA 2014

as selected by the Film Corner's Most Reverend Greg Klymkiw
(in alphabetical order, of course)

SHARKTOPUS - Review By Greg Klymkiw - The Crown Jewel of Anchor Bay BLU-RAY "SHARK 4 Movie Collection"

NOTE: The Film Corner's Star Ratings will now appear at the end of the review.

One can never go wrong with any movie
featuring a ROGER CORMAN cameo.

One can never go wrong
with any movie featuring
TONS OF BABES IN BATHING SUITS!!!

Sharktopus (2010)
Dir. Declan O'Brien
Producers: Roger and Julie Corman
Starring: Eric Roberts, Kerem Bursin, Sara Malakul Lane, Liv Boughn, Hector Jimenez, Blake Lindsey

Review By Greg Klymkiw

Sharktopus is a hoot! As a matter of fact, I haven't enjoyed one of these ludicrous shark pictures so much since I saw Sharknado. The big difference is that this one is actually good. Or rather, well, maybe good isn't quite the word, but this movie delivers everything you'd want from a low-budget creature feature and with a few dollops of "and then some". This, of course, is all due to the powerhouse husband and wife producing team of Roger and Julie Corman who ensure that the film delivers massive-impact carnage, a ludicrous number of babes in swimsuits and the same, crazy sense of looney humour that Corman's stalwart tutelage delivered with such delightful 70s New World horror classics like the Joe-Dante-directed Piranha. Though Sharktopus doesn't quite soar to the heights of Dante's giddy, goofy gobble-em-up, it flies a lot higher than such lumbering big-budget creature-feature affairs like Pacific Rim and Godzilla 2014.

The mad monster of the film's title is exactly what it spells out - a shark with octopus tentacles. This allows the creature to attack its victims "normally" like "Bruce" in Jaws or coil its tentacles round the (mostly) nubile bikini-clad babes then stuff 'em down the deadly sharktopus maw and not unlike the insects in Starship Troopers, the dextrous arms are equipped spear-like tips which impale before devouring. Now before you think we're supposed to buy that a creature like this actually exists, let it be said loud and clear that sharktopus is a mad combination of genetic engineering and computers hard-wired into the brain of this human-engineered freak o' nature. Developed by a private corporation using scads of military moolah, the sharktopus is meant to be a secret weapon to be used in battle - whether against genuine countries Uncle Sam is fighting or worse, Somalian pirates, drug smugglers, various cartels and the like.

Eric Roberts is the head of the firm and his gorgeous daughter Nicole (Sara Malakul Lane) is his right hand. Unbeknownst to her, Dad has secretly rewritten the genetic code so that sharktopus becomes an unstoppable killing machine. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem for the American military, but when the computer in the creature's brain goes awry, it starts to munch anything and everything and the plucky father-daughter are ordered to track the beast down and stop it from decimating innocent people.

Luckily for everyone, sharktopus heads for the Mexican resort of Puerto Vallarta. It's lucky for us because we get nice scenery and endless frames jam-packed with babes in bikinis. It's especially lucky for producer Roger Corman on two counts. First of all, he and his co-producing wife and key crew members get a nice vacation in the famed sunny resort town.

One can never go wrong with
4 BluRays for 1 low price.

Secondly, the film's production costs will be rock bottom because it's, uh, Mexico. This might be the most important reason of all for Corman to shoot in the Land of Tacos, Tamales and Tequila.

The plot, such as it is, thickens once Eric Roberts hires a hunky, cocky shark hunter (Kerem Bursin) who very quickly falls for Roberts's babe-o-licious daughter. There are some subplots, none of which are all that important, but allow many opportunities to parade babes in front of the camera who will also get munched.

The acting ranges from barely competent to well, uh, competent, with the exception of Eric Roberts, Julia Roberts' brother, Emma Roberts' Dad and at one time, a promising and brilliant young actor during the 80s (Star 80, Runaway Train, The Pope of Greenwich Village and Raggedy Man). Roberts manages to register above the thespian Richter Scale by chewing the scenery with aplomb and oozing slime in his smarmy, villainous role.

Declan O'Brien's direction is competent at best, the special effects are so good-God-awful they're funny and the script perfunctorily hits all the checklist items a movie like this needs (mostly, opportunities for babes in bikinis to strut their stuff before being munched).

One can never go wrong with ERIC ROBERTS

Occasionally, the writing delivers individual lines of dialogue and some banter that's genuinely funny.

In the end, Sharktopus has two elements that raise it above its cellar-dweller aspirations. First of all, it features an absolutely hilarious cameo appearance by Corman as a dirty old man following a babe in a bikini on the beach who's scanning the sand with a metal detector. Corman's eyes appear to be on her ass, but just after she discovers a valuable gold doubloon in the sand, she gets dragged into the ocean by the sharktopus. Corman keeps his eyes peeled on the treasure lying in the sand, ignoring her screams for help. He retrieves the doubloon and happily saunters off. Secondly, most of the killings are delightfully hilarious and some of them border on the surreal - especially since we're treated to some ludicrous musical numbers on the stage of a resort and we get to see cheesy costumes and ethnic dancing until the sharktopus lunges itself onto dry land by using its tentacles as legs and starts eating Mexican señoritas in full traditional Mexican garb. And, of course, one of the best killings involves a mega-babe (Corman's own daughter) getting munched during a bungee jump. Seriously, can you think of any movie featuring a walking octopus/shark and a bungee-jump kill?

One can never go wrong with babes being eaten.

I thought not.

THE FILM CORNER RATING: *** Three-Stars

Sharktopus is available on a nice 4-disc/4-movie Blu-Ray set from Anchor Bay Entertainment Canada. It features a super commentary track with Corman (and his lovely wife/co-producer Julie). Both are gracious, erudite, full of terrific anecdotes and solid information about making movies. And keep your eyes peeled. The Film Corner will review all four films in this set. The other three include one more Corman production, DinoShark, as well as Jersey Shore Shark Attack and Bait.

In the meantime, feel free to order this terrific four-disc set (and any of the other wonderful Corman titles) directly from the Amazon links below and in so doing, support the ongoing maintenance of The Film Corner.

SNAKE & MONGOOSE - Review By Greg Klymkiw

Jesse Williams & Richard Blake as SNAKE & MONGOOSE
The real-life drag racers who partnered with Mattel's HOT WHEELS

Snake & Mongoose (2013) ****
Dir. Wayne Holloway, Writers: Alan Paradise & Wayne Holloway
Starring: Jesse Williams, Richard Blake, Noah Wyle, Tim Blake Nelson, Fred Dryer

Review By Greg Klymkiw

Snake & Mongoose is a tremendously entertaining picture about the grand, glory days of drag racing. Focusing on the friendly rivalry between two of the sport's biggest stars, it's a movie's movie that comes jam-packed with all the Kraft Dinner comfort-food-styled-clichés you'd want from a racing picture yet alternately dappled with raw, rip-snorting reality. I suspect it's a picture many people will enjoy - of both sexes - but for those of us who lived through that amazing time, the movie is only going to have oodles of added resonance, but will frankly provide plenty of pure, glistening pools of unadulterated joy.

During the 70s, I seriously doubt there were any little boys in North America who:

(A.) Didn't own a few truckloads of Hot Wheels racing cars;
(B.) Didn't own several sets of Hot Wheels racetracks:
(C.) Didn't fall in love with drag racing;
(D.) and most of all, didn't know who the Snake & Mongoose were.

I was one of those little boys and I sure don't remember any kids I grew up with who weren't obsessed with any and all of the above. I remember counting myself extra lucky since my Dad was a P.R. man for a brewery at a time when promotions were the only way to market beer since advertising booze was against the law (at least in many Canadian territories). Dad sponsored a lot of sporting events and the one I loved the most was drag racing. I practically got to live at our local drag racing track one summer - not in the stands with all the suckers, but in the backstretch and at ground level, with all the manly men in T-shirts, cigarette packs tucked into their sleeves, sporting amazing sideburns and always, ALWAYS, surrounded by a ton of booze and babes: HOT BABES like the HOT WHEELS cars! It was Heaven on Earth: a cacaphonic, kaleidoscopic sensory-overload-sensation brimming to the max with the smell of fuel, burnt rubber and greasy oil, the sound of engines revving, tires squealing, staccato track announcements, babes-a-twittering, flashbulbs popping and LOUD rock n' roll on the speakers. And yeah, there were babes, too.

Have I mentioned the babes, yet? I digress. My bad.

The dazzling and promising feature length directorial debut of Wayne Holloway tells a relatively simple tale that spends twenty years in the lives of the famed California drag racers, Don "The Snake" Prudhomme (Jesse Williams) and Tom "The Mongoose" McEwen (Richard Blake). Friends and rivals since childhood, the two young men follow their dreams early in adulthood. Don is sweet, stable and loyal to his best gal while Tom is a wild man who cheats on his lovely, loving wife, drinks hard, rides hard and plays hard. He's also a whiz at self-promotion and keeps trying to convince his buddy to follow in his footsteps.

Through the two characters we experience how the early days of professional drag racing were full of unscrupulous track owners who make all the money while welching on the full prize money to the drivers. Tom combats this with promotional and sponsorship tie-ins as Don struggles along. When Tom comes up with the brilliant idea to sell themselves to the Mattel company and tie-in with the company's hugely successful Hot Wheels brand of toy race cars, Don decides to jump on board. In no time, Mattel designs toy cars to match the men's own cars and in turn, the guys design cars based upon models whipped together by the toy design team at the kiddie toy empire.

On track, the men are genuine rivals, but off track, they are the best of friends. This is part of their appeal to all the young boys - two men who remain best pals, but who also want to win. They capture the hearts and minds of kids everywhere. As they rise to the top of their game, one rises even higher and the other begins a slow plunge. It's a standard show business trope in narratives of this kind, but it also happens to be rooted in fact and generates a great deal of dramatic conflict throughout the proceedings. The film also focuses on the domestic lives of the men, adding a human element to the picture that eventually trumps a great deal of the macho shenanigans (without leaving them too far behind). There's an especially harrowing subplot involving Tom's leukaemia-stricken son which, goddamn it, moistened my eyes on more than a few occasions and most notably during a "Win one for the Gipper" conversation twixt father and dying son.

What jettisons Snake & Mongoose into a special place amongst racing pictures is how the clearly talented director Holloway captures period detail by expertly mixing straight-up dramatic recreations (chock-full of superb period detail) with absolutely stunning genuine stock/newsreel footage of the back-stretch at the track as well as during the thrilling races themselves. This is expertly bounced about to deliver a seamless tone that keeps our attention glued to the screen.

The film has a gorgeous sun-dappled look, but in the heat of race days, it's especially evocative in terms of the gorgeous grain dancing on-screen from the stock footage and the carefully filtered and beautifully lit dramatic footage that captures the blazing heat and dust of the track and its backstretch. In addition to eliciting terrific performances from the entire cast (especially its two leads and a wonderful supporting turn from the great Fred Dryer), director Holloway displays a vivid and clear voice as a filmmaker who has the kind of gifts that will, no doubt, deliver even more terrific pictures. The movie is jam-packed with a clever, varied palette of technique, but it's also got a ton or two of real heart.

Snake & Mongoose is up there with the best racing pictures. In fact, I'm willing to declare it might be the best of them all.

Anchor Bay Entertainment Canada (along with their U.S. counterpart) has released a stunningly transferred Blu-Ray release which is seldom less-than perfect. Its only flaw is a meagre, short and disappointing added behind-the-scenes feature which feels more like a promo reel. Most egregiously, it features interviews with everyone but the film's clearly gifted director. Whassup wit' 'dat? The movie, however, is more than worth owning in spite of this, especially for racing fans and 10-year-old boys of ALL ages. Feel free to order the film from the Amazon links below, and in so doing, supporting the ongoing maintenance of The Film Corner.

ANCHOR BAY ENTERTAINMENT
AND SCREAM FACTORY™,
IN AN UNPRECEDENTED PARTNERSHIP,
PROUDLY UNVEIL
HALLOWEEN THE COMPLETE COLLECTION
BLU-RAY™ BOX SETS

Limited Edition 15-Disc Deluxe and 10-Disc Edition Brings Together ALL The Halloween Feature Films In One Massive Set For the First Time EVER; All-New Bonus Features, Collectible Packaging, and 40-PageBook Make This
THE Blu-ray™ Box Set Event of 2014!

Michael is Coming Home September 23

ANCHOR BAY ENTERTAINMENT CANADA OFFERS THIS EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT. AMAZON PRE-ORDER INFORMATION COMING SOON TO THIS WEBSITE FOR THIS………

ANCHOR BAY ENTERTAINMENT

LION OF THE DESERT - Review By Greg Klymkiw - Moustapha Akkad's 2nd Epic of Islam a Total Rip-Snorter!

Omar Mukhtar (Anthony Quinn) leads his people in warfare against the Italian colonization of Libya. Mussolini's (Rod Steiger) fascist forces suffer one resounding defeat after another at the hands of the Bedouin rebel armies until a new sherif comes to town in the form of the prancing martinet General Rodolfo Graziani (Oliver Reed). Not willing to disappoint Il Duce, he employs the slippery tactics of British colonialists which, include the employment of concentration camps, building a barbed wire wall along Libya's border and engaging in deceptive peace talks. Mukhtar then launches a massive, bloody suicide offensive to instil added power and glory within his people.

Lion of the Desert (1981) Dir. Moustapha Akkad ****
Starring: Anthony Quinn, Oliver Reed, Rod Steiger, Raf Vallone, John Gielgud

Review By Greg Klymkiw

One of cinema's biggest losses was when filmmaker Moustapha Akkad stopped making epic works about Islam after his rousing Bedouins Vs. Fascists rip-snorter The Lion in the Desert failed to connect with Western audiences in the early 80s. This was not through any fault of the picture itself, but a concerted effort to censor it via clearly intentional film industry indifference at both the distribution and exhibition levels outside of predominantly Muslim countries. One can only assume how much more positive an impact the work might have had politically, socially and culturally if more than just the "converted" had actually been allowed to experience its sweep and power.

Alas, when the New World Order of the Western World chooses to repress anything that presents it in any light other than positive, its success rate at doing so is virtually unbeatable.

This, of course, is why the efforts of Anchor Bay to bring his work to wider audiences via home entertainment formats is to be so vigorously applauded. Akkad's The Message, a biopic - albeit one of the strangest and most original of its genre - about Mohammed, the great prophet who founded the religious faith devoted to Allah and Lion of the Desert, the story of Libyan freedom fighter Omar Mukhtar, are both available in DVD and now in first-rate Blu-Ray editions for new generations to appreciate both the quality and the message imparted by this formidable pair.

Lion of the Desert is a truly sumptuous treat for lovers of stirring war epics. As a director, Akkad really found his voice and a mastery of his gifts.

Though the film might lack some of the clear intellectual, spiritual and artistic rigour of someone like David Lean, it's important to note this was only Akkad's second picture, a sophomore effort of such sweep and command of the medium that one can only lament how far he might have been able to move forward if opportunity to keep making films had been in the cards for him. Expertly commanding great work from such stalwart collaborators as cinematographer Jack (The Bridge on the River Kwai) Hildyard, editor John (Live and Let Die) Shirley and composer Maurice (Dr. Zhivago) Jarre, Akkad delivers a picture that's replete with thrills and excitement.

The battle sequences are amongst some of the best ever filmed and in this day of CGI, we get a clear sense of how magnificent the real thing actually is. Here we get a genuine cast of thousands sweeping across the screen, thundering across the desert with swords raised and always ready to connect with the flesh of the fascist infidel.

Bolstering this huge, glorious, old-fashioned adventure of a rebel army preserving its people and its faith is a tremendous cast. Anthony Quinn is heroism incarnate and he handles both sides of Omar Mukhtar (the gentle teacher, the fierce soldier) with his usual aplomb. Rod Steiger is especially amazing in his portrayal of Il Duce. He fulfills the requisite bursts of insanity and petulance of the mad Italian dictator in a manner that's completely outside of Steiger's penchant for chewing the scenery. There's no whiff of the usual ham that Steiger could bring to roles with his eyes closed.

And let it be said that the late, great Oliver Reed ignites the screen with his smouldering presence. He seems born to play the fiercely ambitious Italian general who eventually brought Mukhtar down and - DAMN! - if Reed doesn't look ultra-cool in fascist military finery.

This is a movie that's as rousing as any great war picture should be, but the special treat is that our heroes are Muslim freedom fighters. It's a joy to see an alternate side of the coin, especially since Islam has been providing Hollywood with an endless supply of cliched villains du jour since 9/11.

As well, Akkad wisely and intelligently avoids painting the fascist villains with propagandistic simplicity - they're real flesh and blood characters - a far sight better than how Hollywood usually treats its Islam-worshipping "villains".

Lion of the Desert and Akkad's The Message were financed by Libyan ruler Muammar Gaddafi (Rompin' Ronnie Reagan's nemesis throughout the 80s). In spite of America's hatred for Gaddafi, he offered, provided and maintained a strictly hands-off approach to financing both films and exercised no censorship whatsoever. This, of course, is a far cry from the overt and/or subtle censorship of American cinema via the government, New World Order and/or the studios.

Sadly, Akkad never got to make his dream project Saladin, an epic that was to star Sean Connery as the great Muslim leader who fought against the injustices of the Crusades. During pre-production in 2005, Akkad and his daughter were killed in the bombings that took place in Amman, Jordan. This would have resulted in a historic trilogy of major epics on Islam, but was not to be.

Luckily, we have Akkad to thank for making two huge motion pictures in an attempt to bridge the divide between Islam and the Western World and Lion of the Desert does so with explosively memorable thrills and sheer boys' adventure-styled excitement..

"Lion of the Desert" is available on Blu-Ray in a gorgeous new transfer from Anchor Bay Entertainment Canada.

THE MESSAGE - Review By Greg Klymkiw - Inspirational Epic of Islam now on Anchor Bay Ent. Canada Blu-Ray

ZORBA the ARAB
It ain't all Greek to
His Holy Swarthiness!

Mohammed, the Prophet, receives a Holy Message from God via the angel Gabriel and begins a struggle to take back the city of Mecca - now a den of inequity and represented by over 300 pagan gods. With such formidable foes as a rich, greedy and powerful merchant class led by Abu Sofyan (Michael Ansara) and his wife Hind (Irene Papas), converting the people to Islam is going to be an uphill battle. Luckily, playing Mohammed's Uncle Hamza is Anthony Quinn (AKA "The Life Force" - as crowned, with tongue firmly in cheek, by the late, great Pauline Kael). He's just the man among men to kick all the Pagan-butt necessary on behalf of the Great Prophet. Eventually God is forevermore able to win the hearts and minds of all the people - thanks, of course, to Anthony Quinn (and yes, Mohammed, the All Holy Messenger of the One True God).

________________________________________________________________________________

Anthony Quinn: The Ideal Butt-Kicker for Islam!

THE MESSAGE (1977) ***1/2
Dir. Moustapha Akkad
Starring: Michael Ansara, Irene Pappas, Anthony Quinn
Review By Greg Klymkiw

Short of reading a good translation of the Koran and/or taking an introductory undergraduate Religious Studies course, Moustapha Akkad's straightforward epic narrative rendering of the story of the Prophet Mohammed, provides a solid, entertaining Coles/Cliff's Notes version of the origins of a religion that has otherwise been horrendously stereotyped by the West and equally (and even surprisingly) perverted by extremist Middle Eastern sects.

The Message was long overdue and cinematic reparations were, indeed, in order. Like any decent Cecil B. DeMille sword-and-sandal sprawler like The Greatest Story Ever Told (including the ludicrous George Stevens remake) and The Ten Commandments, it's a relatively straightforward tale told with a great deal of sweep. Director Moustapha Akkad isn't, however, as proficient a filmmaker as DeMille. Not that Akkad's direction is bad, but due to the international nature and flavour of the production (it was seven years in the making, shot in several languages and in some cases with alternate cast members for different markets), there are more than a few clunky moments. However, the film strikes a generally good balance between history lesson and rip-snorting entertainment and is, in general, thoughtful, literate and respectful of its subject matter.

Given that the subject matter is Mohammed, the Holy Prophet of Islam, it's a darn good thing Akkad was respectful. Ultimately, God only knows, he might well have had a Fatwah imposed upon him. This wasn't going to happen to Akkad, though, since the canny director developed the property and shot it in such a way that he was able to maintain the strict Holy Doctrine of never literally depicting Mohammed. His solution to the problem of telling the story of someone who was not allowed, in any way, shape or form to be seen onscreen, was so brilliantly simple that after the initial shock of having to get used to it, you do.

Seriously, this must be reiterated: Mohammed is the main character, but he is never seen onscreen, nor are we allowed to hear his voice. His actions and words are described by others and when characters need to speak with Mohammed, Akkad has them speaking directly into the camera. I really loved this touch - not only for adhering to the strict Muslim laws on such matters, but frankly, this kind of reverence towards the "Character" adds considerably to the mystique and holiness of Mohammed and his very important story within the context of the world's faith-based history.

This is one big movie. As the cliched saying goes: "They don't make 'em like this anymore." The vistas are vast, the sets and costumes sumptuous and the whole film is pleasingly photographed. Akkad assembled an amazing team of artists including gorgeous cinematography by the legendary Jack Hildyard (The Bridge on the River Kwai) and a stirring score by composer Maurice Jarre (Dr. Zhivago). This is a movie that, by rights, should have been seen far more widely in the West - especially in North America.

In contemporary terms, The Message might be even more important than ever since it presents a far more accurate portrait of the Islamic faith, its roots and history - effectively shooting down all the truly hateful American propaganda foisted upon audiences since 9/11. Akkad emphasizes so many of the progressive values of this religion - including equality between men and women as well as issues of peace, love and forgiveness. Though the movie might have been tarred and feathered by Muslim audiences even before it was released (rumours circulated that Charlton Heston would be seen - on camera - playing Mohammed), Akkad had wisely brought numerous Islamic clerics and academics on board as active historical and religious watchdogs. Rather than compromising the film, it did, I believe, make the film far more sympathetic, informative and entertaining.

In America, the film was viewed in an anti-Judeo-Christian light which, was especially moronic since the film even refers positively to any number of Judeo-Christian prophets and deities including Abraham, Moses and the Big Fella' Himself, Jesus H. Christ. The real reason The Message was virtually censored and condemned via poor exhibition and distribution (under the title Mohammed: Messenger of God), along with Akkad's tremendous followup Lion of the Desert (to be reviewed on this website soon) had way more to do with the fact that his films had been financed to the hilt by Libyan ruler Muammar Gaddafi (Rompin' Ronnie Reagan's nemesis throughout the 80s). In spite of America's hatred for Gaddafi, he offered, provided and maintained a strictly hands-off approach to financing both films and exercised no censorship whatsoever. This, of course, is a far cry from the overt and/or subtle censorship of American cinema via the government, New World Order and/or the studios.

Sadly, Akkad never got to make his dream project Saladin, an epic that was to star Sean Connery as the great Muslim leader who fought against the injustices of the Crusades. During pre-production in 2005, Akkad and his daughter were killed in the bombings that took place in Amman, Jordan. Luckily, we have Akkad to thank for making two huge motion pictures in an attempt to bridge the divide between Islam and the Western World.

Curiously, and for better or worse, he can also be thanked for financing, as Executive Producer, the first eight Halloween films - movies that reached audiences in the most universal manner one could imagine.

"The Message" is available on Blu-Ray in a gorgeous new edition from Anchor Bay Entertainment Canada which includes the Arabic version of the film and an excellent making-of documentary.

AMERICAN MARY - Review By Greg Klymkiw - MUST-SEE MOTION PICTURE OF 2013!!!

AMERICAN MARY is the MUST-SEE motion picture event of the year. May 30, 2013 at Cineplex Entertainment Front Row Centre Events all across Canada, Industry Works, Raven Banner and Anchor Bay Canada present a special ONE NIGHT event.

In Toronto, there will be live appearances from directors Jen and Sylvia Soska and star Katharine Isabelle and a moderated Q&A hosted by filmmaker/writer Jovanka Vuckovich.

May 31, 2013 a limited theatrical release via Industry Works will unfurl across the country. 

On June 18, 2013 RUN, DO NOT WALK TO YOUR FAVOURITE RETAILER and purchase your very own Blu-Ray or DVD from ANCHOR BAY CANADA with a making-of documentary and commentary track from Canada's very own TWISTED TWINS - The SOSKA SISTERS!

AMERICAN MARY is one of the BEST FILMS made in Canada in YEARS and blows most of this country's product clear out of the water.

Keep tuned for my ongoing coverage of this spectacular motion picture on this website and in the legendary Joe Kane's ultra-cool genre magazine "Phantom of the Movies Videoscope", "Electric Sheep - a deviant view of cinema" and my screenwriting book "Movies Are Action". 

American Mary (2012) ****
dir. Soska Twins: Jen Soska, Sylvia Soska
Starring: Katharine Isabelle, Tristan Risk, Antonio Cupo, David Lovgren

Review By Greg Klymkiw
(Note - Rewrite/Revision of an earlier piece)

The scalpel enters a full, fleshy breast and delicately, almost sensually circles the areola's entirety whilst blood oozes out, the surgeon's fingers gently tracing her handiwork.

Both nipples are eventually removed.

The next procedure involves surgically removing all physical receptors of pubic ecstasy and stitching shut the vagina of the aforementioned nipple-bereft body, save, of course, for the smallest allowable opening for the expulsion of urine.

The surgeon is spent, stunned, but satisfied - secure in the knowledge that her first stab (so to speak) at body modification is a success. The client eventually expresses sheer joy over her all-new sexually adhedonic state; how perfectly she's been able to fulfil her own personal essence of womanhood via the excision of those physical extremities which alternately offer enticement and pleasure. Whatever you say, babe. In the words of Marlo Thomas: "Free to be you and me."

Can movies possibly get any better than this?

No.

Well actually, I guess Psycho, Citizen Kane, Birth of a Nation, Bicycle Thieves and Nights of Cabiria might be slightly better,  but it doesn't change the fact that American Mary is a dazzlingly audacious sophomore effort from the Vancouver-based twisted twin sisters Jen and Sylvia Soska (who made a promising debut with their micro-budgeted 2009 effort Dead Hooker in a Trunk).

Videodrome, David Cronenberg's perversely creepy semi-precursor to the Soskas's new masterpiece-to-be, features the famous sentiment uttered by the Moses Znaimer-like character Max Renn (James Woods) that he must "leave the old flesh" in favour of the future. He intones ever-so scarily: "Long live the New Flesh!"

Gotta love Cronenberg when he made some of the best horror movies on the planet, but we've got to call a spade a spade - he hasn't made a horror picture since Dead Ringers in 1988 and his recent output (Spider, A Dangerous Method and Cosmopolis) has been downright dreadful. There's a new marshall in town and the reigning royalty of Canadian Horror is not one, but TWO Soska sisters.

Leave the old flesh.

Long live the New Flesh!

With American Mary, the Twisted Twins are perched delightfully on (at least for some, if not many) shaky moral ground (and/or crack), but happily, they maintain the courage of their convictions and do not tread lightly upon it. There are no half-measures here to even attempt making the picture palatable to the gatekeepers of political correctness (those purported knot-headed pseudo-lefty Great Pretenders who reside just to the right of Mussolini, Stevie Harper or Mitt Romney - take your pick). I'd even vigorously argue that non-fascist PC-types (as opposed to the truly fascist PC-types who make most thinking people sick to their stomachs) will, in fact, find the picture more than palatable.

The rest of us (we're cooler and smarter than YOU!) will get it, groove on it and celebrate its excellence.

This movie is some mighty nasty stuff - replete with elements of slashing satire that hack away and eventually tear open "normally" accepted versions of right and wrong whilst grasping the exposed nerve endings of morality, holding them taught and playing the jangling buggers like violin strings. The picture will provoke, anger, disgust and scandalize a multitude of audiences, though chances are good that the most offended will be those "smugly fucklings" (phrase courtesy of the late, great CanLit genius Scott Symons), the aforementioned fascist PC-type poseurs who claim to be outside the mainstream, but have their noses deeper up the rectal canals of fascists than the bloody Tea Party.

Strange as this might seem, the picture comes from a place deep in the heart, so deep that the twins don't bother ripping the pulsating muscle out, but rather, invoke the spirit that lies dormant within to deliver a surprising level of humanity to the proceedings. As far as the picture's carnage takes us we're allowed, in more than one instance to even be moved by the plight of some of the characters.

The screenplay, written by the Soska twins, is - on its surface only - a rape-revenge fantasy, but it goes so much further than that. It's a vital examination of subcultures representing people disenfranchised from the aforementioned accepted standards of human existence. In a world increasingly aspiring to the living death of homogeneity (this includes those who purport to be untouched by homogeneity), the characters will never fit any mould that represents "normalcy", no matter how hard they try.

Within the world of the film, those who refuse to conform (not because it's "cool" to do so, but because they simply cannot conform) seek avenues that will fulfil their basic needs as human beings, no matter how strange or repellent a majority finds them.

The tale told involves Mary (Katharine Isabelle), a med student struggling under the crushing weight of ever-mounting debt and the constant psychological abuse from her mentor Dr. Grant (David Lovgren), the chief professor of surgery - a field of practice she longs to serve in. In desperation, Mary scours the "adult services" want ads and is drawn to one with keen interest. Under the cloak of night she arrives at a nondescript warehouse in an industrial park that emits the thumping bass of dance music, a neon sign promising sensual delights and a burly doorman who immediately allows her entrance - as he clearly does to any babe seeking admittance.

Mary meets with the charmingly sleazy proprietor Billy Barker (Antonio Cupo) who scoffs a bit when she hands him her resume. The only pre-requisites to work in his club are a good overall "package" (which he discovers after telling her to strip to her undies and show-off her gorgeous body), an ability to deliver a fine massage (as she ably proves with her nimble surgeon's fingers) and a willingness to suck him off with skill and abandon (which, she sadly never gets to do). The job interview is interrupted with news that all is not well in another part of the club. Knowing Mary is a med student specializing in surgery, Billy asks her to join him.

In a dank, dungeon-like room within the club's bowels, Mary's eyes widen at a gruesome sight - nothing to phase a surgeon, but the context would be, at least initially, pretty bizarre to anyone - even her. Whatever goes on in this room, has gone seriously awry and as luck would have it, Mary is just what the, shall we say, doctor, has ordered.

For a wad of pure, hard, cold cash - the likes of which she's never held in her hands, Mary agrees to perform some illicit surgical magic which will not only make a wrong right, but provide a much needed service beyond simple lifesaving. The subject, twitching and bleeding on the filthy table, will most definitely require saving, but the painful manner in which he will be saved will provide him with added ecstasy.

Soon Mary is in demand amongst the body modification subculture who troll about the same underbelly as those who work and patronize the club (in addition to the genuine underground activities involving extreme masochistic indulgence - no healthy, mutually consenting BDSM here - this is a place where people go to be maimed, hurt and tortured).

The other subculture portrayed is that of the surgeons themselves. The Soskas create a creepy old boys club where the power of slicing into live human beings has engendered a world of ritual abuse. In the worlds of body modification and masochistic gymnatics, the subjects are ASKING for it. Not so within the perverse world of the surgeons. They use psychological abuse to break down their victims, then administer kindness and fellowship to lure them, then once their quarry is in their clutches, they use deception of the most cowardly, heinous variety to fulfil their desire to inflict sexual domination.

The body modifiers and masochists are pussycats compared to the surgeons who are portrayed as little more than pure exploiters. Their air of respectability as healers and academia is the weapon they use to commit violence and perpetrate subjugation.

Someone's gonna pay. Bigtime.

So, I'm sure you've already gathered that American Mary is not (Thank Christ!) Forrest Gump. We're bathing in the cinematic blood spilled into the tub that is this movie by the insanely imaginative Soska Twins - clearly the spawn of Alejandro Jodorowsky and Elizabeth Bathory with, perhaps, some errant seed from Alfred Hitchcock or William Friedkin.

One of the extraordinary things about American Mary is that it dives headlong into a number of subcultures, which, even if they've been completely and utterly pulled out of the Soska Sisters' respective Autoroutes de Hershey, they feel like genuinely real worlds. The locations, production design, art direction, set dressing and costume design for the various interior and exterior settings look lived in and completely appropriate to the scenes in which they appear.

Even the curse of most lower-budgeted Canadian films - that notorious lack-of-dollars underpopulation - is not especially egregious as some Canuck pictures since many of the settings demand it, while others are appropriately framed (most of the time) to mask it. As well, the Soska Sisters generally have a good eye for composing shots that provide maximum dramatic impact and the lighting and cutting is always appropriate to the dramatic action rather than calling attention to itself.

The performances are generally first rate and the background performers always look 100% right for the scenes. The fine acting, coupled with a script packed with dialogue that's always in keeping with both character and milieu rather than going out of its way to be overtly clever, also contributes to the overall sense that we're wandering through very real, albeit completely, utterly insane worlds. This is also not to say the film is bereft of stylish visual touches, but they're again used for dramatic effect rather than the annoying curse so many younger filmmakers suffer when they abandon narrative (or even dream) logic to say, "Look Ma, I can use a dolly." And believe me, when a shot and/or cut NEEDS to knock the wind out of us, it happens with considerable aplomb.

What sells the film is the world the Soska Sisters create. It's seldom obvious and more often than not we believe it - or at least want to. In many ways, the film is similar to the great early work of Walter Hill (pretty much anything from The Warriors to Streets of Fire) wherein he created worlds that probably could ONLY exist on film, but within the context of the respective pictures, seldom felt less than "real". (That said, Hill was ALWAYS showy, but he knew how to make it intrinsic to the dramatic action.) This makes a lot of sense, since it always feels like the Soska Twins are making movies wherein those worlds that exist realistically on-screen, but furthermore evoke a feeling that the film has been wrought in a much different (and probably better) age than ours.

Dead Hooker in a Trunk and especially American Mary, seem to exist on a parallel plane to those halcyon days of 70s/80s edginess reflected in the Amos Poe New York "No Wave" - not to mention other counter culture types who straddled the underground and the mainstream - filmmakers like Scorsese, Rafelson, Waters, Jarmusch, et al who exploded well beyond the Jim Hoberman-coined "No Wave". Their work even approaches a bit of the 80s cult sensibilities of Repo Man, Liquid Sky or even such generational crossover titles as Eraserhead, Blue Velvet) and the deranged work of more contemporary directors like Eli Roth, Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino - all of whom "steal", to varying degrees, from earlier periods of film history, but use the work of previous Masters as a springboard to make the pictures all their own. (By the way, I'm not necessarily suggesting American Mary is culled from any of the aforementioned but rather, that the Soska Twins are clearly working in the same sort of exciting territory. It's especially dazzling when it's within a burgeoning stage of their development as film artists.)

The character of Mary, though, seems like she was born on the set of a 70s James Toback movie like Fingers or the Toback-penned Karel Reizs masterpiece The Gambler or yes, even Don Siegel's magnificent work of cold-cocking art Dirty Harry and though the decade was replete with male heroes of the anti-hero variety, the world just wasn't quite ready for a female heroine to embody the steely resolve of Harvey Keitel, James Caan and Clint Eastwood in the respective pictures. So somehow, Mary was transported in some kind of time machine into the minds of the Soska Twins (at the point of their conception) and spewed herself upon the pages of their script and into the body of Katharine Isabelle.

Well thank Christ for open portals in the time/space continuum - we now have a genuine horror hero who embodies all the anti-hero qualities of a 70s character and is 110% ALL WOMAN!!!

Katharine Isabelle as Dr. Mary has come long and far from her groundbreaking performance in the classic John Fawcett-Karen Walton werewolf picture Ginger Snaps. Here she delivers a courageous performance on a par with her turn as the cursed teen werewolf back in 2000. It's 12 years later and Isabelle has blossomed into a tremendously engaging screen personality. The camera might actually love her even more now that she's gained considerable physical maturity (and the Soska Twins have definitely used their four great eyes to work with their cinematographer Brian Pearson's additional two eyes to add to Isabelle's stunning, real-woman looks). This great actress's 12 years of toil in mainly television has given her a myriad of roles and experience, but in American Mary, her brave, deadpan (and often very funny) delivery blended with moments where the character is clearly repressing anything resembling emotion is the kind of thesping that demands more roles as terrific as this one. Please, get this woman out of Television Hell and put her on the big screen where she belongs.

The film also has a cornucopia of terrific supporting performances. Antonio Cupo as the sort-of male love interest is both sleazy and endearing (a pretty amazing double whammy). David Lovgren is suitably creepy and reptilian. Paula Lindberg as the nipple-extracted bombshell who also gets her vagina sewn shut and Tristan Risk (easily the best supporting work I saw from any actress in any movie in 2012) as the body modified dancer who promotes Mary's talents far and wide, both transcend the expert makeup effects to bring their respective characters' spirits beyond the almost freakish intensity of their body modifications.

And finally, no review of American Mary would be complete without a special nod to Nelson Wong who wins the alltime accolade for the scariest, creepiest, sickest, funniest rendering of a surgeon you hope NEVER to meet - even in your dreams.

American Mary is a true original. The Soska Twins have generated an utterly buoyant, crazed, thrilling and gob-smackingly brilliant motion picture experience. I expect - NO! I DEMAND! - one kick-ass devil-may-care rollercoaster ride through hell after another from the Soska Twins.

I'm waiting with baited breath. In the meantime, I'll be watching American Mary over and over and over again. I can't get enough of it.

Tickets for the Sinister Cinema showing of "American Mary" can be secured by visiting the Cineplex Entertainment website HERE.