Saturday, 22 December 2012

Winners Announced: 2012 International Online Film Critics’ Poll - Greg Klymkiw Reports

This image has absolutely nothing to do
with the 3rd Edition of the International
Online Film Critics' Poll (2012), but it's a
fine example of excellent international cinema.

for the 3rd Edition (2012) of
The International Online Film Critics’ Poll

Report By Greg Klymkiw

Okay, this is not too shabby. I told you HERE that I agreed to participate in this poll and:

(i) Enjoyed the idea that it covered two years worth of releases by a poll of international online critics from eligible titles released twixt 16 November 2010 to 15 November 2012 and;

(ii) Was delighted to find out the poll was administered by a Mr. George McCoy, a respected reviewer of brothels and massage parlours in the UK and;

(iii) Was a tiny bit disappointed that it had NOTHING to do with the esteemed British reviewer of brothels and massage parlours, but;

(iv) Delighted once more to find out that it was administered by the Rome-based film journalist Mr. George McCoy who has never reviewed brothels and massage parlours, but in spite of the fact that UK was his birthplace, his actual home since early childhood has been Italy and, in fact, his first language is Italian and finally;

(v) That I agreed with a number of the nominees I personally supported and obnoxiously revealed who I personally voted for.

NOW, Ladies and Gentleman - the moment is at hand and I am allowed to reveal the Winners. They are as follows:

Best Film – Motion Picture
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

I have no problem with this. Amongst the nominees, I would have been happy with this choice or The Master.

Best Director
Tomas Alfredson – Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Again, I'm quite happy to have been part of this decision (as I'd have been if Paul Thomas Anderson had won).

Best Actor in a Leading Role
Gary Oldman – Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

I'n very happy to have been part of this decision. I named him Best Actor in my own year-end round-up of accolades in 2011 and frankly feel he got supremely hosed by most of last year's tub-thumps.

Best Actress in a Leading Role
Natalie Portman – Black Swan

She's a babe and nuttier than a fruitcake in this, so "thumbs up" from this fella'.

Best Supporting Actor
Philip Seymour Hoffman – The Master

I am happy Hoffman was cited for The Master. What I'm not happy about is that this is the best thing Hoffman's done in years and yet, I feel as if his role is equal to that of Joaquin Phoenix's. Then again, both of them would have been hosed by this poll since clearly a majority of us went for Oldman in the Best Actor category.

Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams – The Master

Hubba-Hubba! Better for this than the execrable other nominated picture The Fighter.

Best Ensemble Cast
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Fuck yes! Who wouldn't want to watch all these guys sitting around talking bizarre bureaucratic spy-speak.

Best Original Screenplay
Paul Thomas Anderson – The Master

Nothing comes close to The Master in this category other than maybe Django Unchained by Tarantino, but the latter won't qualify for accolades in this poll until it happens again in 2014 since QT's Blacksploitation Spaghetti Western doesn't open until Christmas Day and missed the aforementioned guidelines by a bit over one month.

Best Adapted Screenplay
Bridget O’Connor, Peter Straughan – Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Hands down this is GREAT screenwriting. Adapting LeCarre is never an easy feat and frankly, I think this film (and script) comes a lot closer than the classic BBC mini-series with Alec Guinness.

Best Cinematography
Janusz Kaminski – Lincoln

Ugh. I guess the movie looks great, but Spielberg's picture so utterly bored the crap out of me, I'd have preferred great shooting in a genuinely great movie.

Best Production Design
Maria Djurkovic – Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Thoroughly agree. The period details, but also the overall look of the interiors was so depressingly Kafkaesque that I can't imagine any other picture deserving this accolade amongst the nominees.

Best Film Editing
Tariq Anwar – The King’s Speech

I must disrespectfully disagree. I can only assume the majority who voted for the cutting of this turgid turd of feel-good were on crack when they marked their "X" on the ballot.

Best Original Score
Ludovic Bource – The Artist

This score was so reprehensible that the only thing MORE reprehensible was the movie itself.

Best Visual Effects
The Dark Knight Rises

I guess the effects were great, but because Nolan is such a dreadful director, I really wouldn't be able to adequately assess their worth.

And now, the Ten Best Films in alphabetical order:

Argo (UGH)
The Artist (SUPER UGH)
Beasts of the Southern Wild (Well, the first 10 minutes is okay.)
Black Swan (YEAH!!!!!!!)
Lincoln (UGH)
The King’s Speech (SUPER UGH)
The Master (YEAH!!!!!!!!)
Skyfall (SUPER UGH)
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (YEAH!!!!!!!)

So there you have it, the Winners of the Third International Online Critics Awards. I'm pleased with many of the craft awards, but the Ten Best List is (save for the movies I agree with) inspiring within my roiling tummy, a bad case of the runs.

The critics who participated in this poll are as follows:

Greg Klymkiw (uh, that would be me)
Marco Albanese
Jeffrey M. Anderson
Robert Bernocchi
Alessia Carmicino
Mark Burger
Raùl Cornejo
Michael Cusumano
Bill Desowitz
Trevor Hogg
Naomi Jeffreys
Shawn S. Lealos
Darren Mooney
Marcin Pietrzyk
Agnès C. Poirier
Mark Richardson
Giuseppe Romani
Luna Saracino
Byan Way

And once again, the poll was administered by George McCoy (and I reiterate, NOT the esteemed George McCoy who reviews British brothels and massage parlours, but the esteemed Italian film journalist).