Sunday, 12 October 2014

ZOMBEAVERS - Review By Greg Klymkiw - Toronto Premiere - Toronto After Dark Fest 2014

Zombeavers (2014)
Dir. Jordan Rubin
Starring: A whack o' babes, guys, old people & beavers

Review By Greg Klymkiw

If you see Zombeavers and complain that the movie was nothing more than nubile babes and their boyfriends getting attacked by zombie beavers and turning into half-human-half-zombie-beavers themselves, then you're pretty much a fucking idiot.

Make no mistake, this is what you're going to get:

A couple of inbred truck drivers spill a load of toxic waste into the water near a beaver dam.

A gaggle of babes is headed up to the cottage for a weekend away from their dopey, horny boyfriends. The guys show up anyway. Soon, between boink-o-rama shenanigans, the toxic-waste-infected beavers begin to feed.

A few of our hapless babes and hunks grow beaver teeth and are greedily looking to feed. They are. after all, beavers now.

In addition to the aforementioned scintillating plot, you will be party to some of the crudest, most sexist and borderline misogynist jokes imaginable. There will be topless sunbathing and, for those so inclined, geysers of blood.

The film is mercifully short and if I was to say I didn't enjoy every second of it, I don't know how I'd ever be able to look at myself in the mirror ever again - at least not without thinking, "Asshole!".

So, please, if you're planning to see a movie called Zombeavers, rest assured it's exactly what you're going to get.

THE FILM CORNER RATING: **½ 2-and-a-Half Stars.

Zombeavers receives a Toronto premiere at TADFF 2014.