Tuesday 14 July 2015

BUNNY THE KILLER THING - Review By Greg Klymkiw - It's the Kaurismäkis with the DTs directing a horror film about a half-man-half-rabbit-monster in search of pussy. The COUNTDOWN TO FANTASIA 2015 in Montreal continues.

A WARNING to all who see Bunny the Killer Thing during the 2015 edition of the Fantasia International Film Festival in Montreal (or, for that matter, anytime, anywhere you see the movie): DO NOT leave during the end title credits. If you do, you'll MISS one of the most delightful after-credit sequences you'll EVER see. Besides, the credit roll is accompanied by more great music which has been wending its way throughout the film. This is major league DOUBLE-DOUBLE.
Bunny The Killer Thing
Dir. Joonas Makkonen
Starring: Jari Manninen, Veera W. Vilo, Enni Ojutkangas, Katja Jaskari, Alisa Kyllönen, Anniina Koivisto, Marcus Massey, Vincent Tsang, Orwi Imanuel Ameh, Mia Ehrnrooth, Gareth Lawrence, Henry Saari, Juha-Matti Halonen

Review By Greg Klymkiw

For those of you old enough to have been stoked by the tagline for Richard Donner's 1979 Superman:

You'll believe a man can fly!

Allow me to present a contemporary Finnish equivalent:

You'll believe an erect penis can dangle in front of the windshield of a speeding car! (Even though, upon impact, the scrotum has been flattened into a crimson-coloured pancake!)

Bunny The Killer Thing coquettishly tempts me to pull a Joe Bob Briggs (the immortal drive-in movie critic from Dallas, Texas), and provide my own version of his trademark checklists including a bare-breast count, an aardvarking count, a body count, a pint count of blood spilled and, among other delectables, a description of the various "fu" elements; though I'll solemnly declare - here and now - that this jaw-dropper of a picture is amply endowed with more Penis-Fu than any movie ever made.


There's even a Penis-Cam.

All said, I desperately wish I knew what mind-forming liquid comestibles Finnish filmmakers were breast-fed with, because time in, time out, this country not only churns out great hockey players, but directors who deliver some of the most hilarious, original and provocative motion pictures in the world.

Bunny The Killer Thing is the first feature from the 29-year-old Finnish wunderkind Joonas Makkonen who allows an animated bunny to squirt globs of bunny cum all over his director credit during the opening titles. Makkonen's previous efforts include well over 20 short films, including a pint-sized version of this full length celebration of delightfully transgressive poor taste.

Here he delivers a nicely crafted horror-comedy that serves up a rich karjalanpaisti of sex, shocks, laughs, gore, plenty of babes (including the sexiest of all, BABES WITH GUNS), a trio of hunky lads with nefarious activity on their minds, mega-action of all manner, lesbo action, homo action, masturbation action, aardvarking galore and more penises (I prefer penii) than you can shake a stick at. (And believe me when I say that plenty of penii are shaken in our general direction.) Makkonen directs this picture within an inch of his life and his insanely transgressive screenplay (the story co-written by producer Miika J. Norvanto) offers much in the way of homage to some of the worst 80s-horror-VHS-boom trash-fests while, at the same time, offering enough original twists, turns, knee-slappers and jaw-droppers to please fans of both the discriminating and indiscriminating persuasions.

In a hazelnut shell, a mad Dr. Moreau-like scientist in a remote winter vacation spot in Finland, kidnaps a best-selling author and turns him into a monster: a giant upright half-man-half-bunny-rabbit with a penis so large it makes the schwance of late porn stud Johnny "The Wadd" Holmes look like a bite-sized Haribo gummy worm.

But Why? No, seriously. WHY? Why turn someone, a celebrity no less, into a man-bunny monster bent on raping anything with a hole? That's the profound mystery at the core of this movie. When the true and utterly repulsive nature of the mystery is finally revealed, you'll not only get a humungous shock (along with the characters who discover it with utter disgust on their faces), but you might also die from laughter.

In any event, when the man-bunny escapes, a living hell is just round the corner from a group of vacationing 20-somethings (including a whole whack of babes and a passel of dweeby guys). When our vacationing young 'uns meet up with a trio of hunky Brits stranded on the winter highway, they offer to take them in for the night in their cottage so their resident happy-go-lucky-metal-loving alcoholic inbred redneck grease monkey Mise (an utterly brilliant comedic performance by Jari Manninen) can fix their car.

The trio appear to have a mysterious agenda which is, no doubt, tied into the man-bunny-monster, but with their vehicle out of commission, two of the three, decide to make the best of the situation. Their dour, mean-spirited leader Lucas (Marcus Massey) refrains from all frivolity and wishes his companions would do likewise. Dreamy Vincent (Vincent Tsang) hits it off immediately with blonde babe Sara (Enni Ojutkangas), which causes considerable consternation roiling within her brunette babe friend Nina (Veera W. Vilo) who carries the unrequited torch of Lesbos for her. The equally dreamy (and coffee creamy) Tim (Orwi Imanuel Ameh) is, for his part, counting on a trip to the Greek Isles as his drunken frolics with the burly, bearded bear of a man, Mise are charged with all manner of forbidden fruit possibilities.

And then there's that pesky Bunny. He's got a raging hard-on and he keeps bellowing for pussy. Oh, and he gets his fair share and then some. Allow me to remind you that all holes are pussies to the man-bunny-monster. This would, by the way, include gouged eye sockets.

By the end of this film, I had no idea what in the hell I just watched. You might feel likewise, but I'm sure you, like I, will have laughed so hard, upchucked several times and soared higher than a kite amidst the heavenly splendours of a film which knows absolutely no boundaries. Can a film actually be good natured and funny, even though it features a monster that rapes, a sex trafficking underground involving - Oh Christ, I can't even utter the words without wanting to both vomit and laugh, so I won't - and amidst the gore and sex, a fabulous score and song soundtrack that hammers home the crazed abandon of the whole movie?

What I know is this: Filmmaker Joonas Makkonen is like some crazed version of the Kaurismäkis with the DTs directing a horror film about a half-man-half-rabbit-monster. It's got cult film written all over it and in the immortal words of the aforementioned Drive-In Movie Critic from Dallas, I do indeed say, "Check it out."

Oh, and have I mentioned it's got babes with guns in it?

There's nothing sexier than that!


Bunny The Killer Thing is represented by the visionary mad men of Raven Banner Entertainment and enjoys its International Premiere at the 2015 edition of the Fantasia International Film Festival in Montreal. For dates, times and tix, visit the Festival's website HERE. And get your tix now. This picture has "hanging from the rafters" written all over its happily foul potential. Montreal will never be the same after this one. Neither will you.