TAG - Review By Greg Klymkiw - Sono Delivers Japanese schoolgirls in uniform, ultra-violent bloodletting, staggering imagery and Buddhism. Yes! Buddhism! TADFF 2015

Top: 3 of many instances wherein Matsuko is sprayed with blood.
Bottom: 3 of many causes for said blood being sprayed upon Matsuko.

Tag (2015)
Dir. Sion Sono
Starring: Reina Triendl, Yuki Sakai,
Mariko Shinoda, Erina Mano, Maryjun Takahashi, Sayaka Isoyama

Review By Greg Klymkiw

Sion Sono's Tag opens with a sequence which, is not dissimilar to a two-by-four being slammed repeatedly into the audience's face. This is merely the beginning.

A schoolbus full of happy, smiling Japanese schoolgirls carries them to a resort for an extended field trip. They're chatty, giddy with excitement and even go so far as to engage in a glorious pillow fight. Ah, but there is always one who is left out of the frivolity. Matsuko (Reina Triendl) sits alone writing in a notebook.

She is, what our Japanese brothers and sisters refer to as a "Hafu" (half occidental, half oriental) and she is not only the butt of cruel, racist jokes from her classmates, but one of them tries to steal her notebook to read it. Matsuko wrestles it back, but her pen falls on the floor. She can't reach it, so she drops down to the ground to retrieve it.

Fate intercedes perfectly here, as she stays down to examine a beautiful white feather which, is lodged perfectly in the pen's lapel clip (the whole bus is full of white, fluffy down from the earlier frolics). Feathers, of course, will prove to be an important recurring image. Most of the time they're white, but sometimes they're blood-red.

What happens next is so jaw-dropping, sickeningly blood-drenched and terrifying that Matsuko's actions not only keep her alive, but her athletic prowess allows her to escape in a harrowing chase down a lonely country road littered with corpses and even more acts of carnage, in which our heroine escapes by ducking down to how she was posed in the bus.

Matsuko begins to run - harder and faster, it seems, than she's ever run in her life. Oh, and does she ever blast. Matsuko madly runs and runs and runs in a horrifying sequence which rivals that of Marilyn Burns being chased by Leatherface in Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (and even utilizing a similar nightmare logic to the material).

The movie never lets up. Even when things slow down to offer brief solace as well as very odd explanations as to what's happening, the idylls never last long before Sono throws a shocker at us and the characters - one shocker after another, increasing in intensity, imagination and originality. As scary as the movie gets, it's replete with a tremendous sense of dark humour - nothing tongue in cheek, but all rooted in the world of the picture.

I'm not familiar with the Japanese graphic novel "Tag". Nor, it seems, was Sion Sono when he chose to make Tag. He had a vague idea of what the manga was about and he liked the title. Seeing as he's one of the most original filmmakers in the world (Why Don't You Play in Hell?, Tokyo Tribe), the result of this approach has yielded one of the most insanely entertaining pictures of the year.

Matsuko is not a contestant on "Reach for the Top"

With its emphasis on alternate universes, Tag is not unlike a Sono-style version of Christopher ("One Idea") Nolan's Inception, or to a lesser extent the Wachowski's The Matrix, but with the added bonus of pretty Japanese schoolgirls in uniform, glorious bloodletting and none of the pretension of the aforementioned American titles. Tag is also vaguely Bunuelian, not just because of the satirical jabs at society and class, but Sono even goes so far as to introduce us to a strong main character, but he eventually gives her three faces, all played by three different actresses (That Obscure Object of Desire, anyone?).

To even begin summarizing the plot would be tantamount to an act of heretical selfishness. All one really needs to know is what's been divulged already: young schoolgirl escapes horrific death and breathlessly races forward for 85 minutes of screen time to avoid being caught and similarly decimated as everyone around her. I will reveal that there is a "game" aspect to the proceedings, if only to suggest what a terrific film Tag is, especially in comparison to something like the boneheaded disgrace of the The Hunger Games pictures.

For a film that is so infused with bloodletting, horror and nerve-jangling suspense, it is surprisingly dappled with sensitivity, deep friendship, love, soaring moments of joyous sentiment and even, I kid you not, the principles of Buddhism.

Matsuko's loyal friend Aki (Yuki Sakai) is always around to lend support and love. (The other girls tease the two, incessantly calling them dykes.) In fact, it is Aki who provides the simple, soothing words, "Life is surreal. Don't let it consume you." Most importantly, it is also Aki who tells Matsuko that no matter what happens, "Our destiny is decided. We're trapped within it," but adds the sage advice, "You can trick fate. Do something spontaneously that you'd never do." Eventually, this becomes Matsuko's greatest weapon against the horrors flung at her.

Sono's images are nothing less than spectacular - whether displaying horror, good humour, love and peace - he delivers compositions that are both breathtaking and rooted firmly in the film's tone and narrative.

Left: Director Sono finds an ideal angle to show us the schoolgirls' panties.
Right: Matsuko luxuriates in one of many alternative dimensions.

Oh, and in addition to everything but the kitchen sink, Sono gives us, the kitchen sink (with cherries on top). The kitchen sink turns out to be bone-crunchingly spectacular martial arts and the cherries on top are that all of the gorgeously choreographed kicks and thwacks are girl-on-girl.

Yes, ladies and gents, cat fights.

Tag is proof positive that contemporary Asian cinema in all forms continues to make pretty much most everything else, especially from the American studio system, pale in comparison. Chances are good that we'll eventually get an American remake and one can predict even money odds on the inevitability of it being dreadful.

The picture is a dazzler, as are all of Sion Sono's films, but this might well be my favourite of them all. Frankly, you do yourself a disservice to not see it.

THE FILM CORNER RATING: **** 4 Stars

Tag plays at Toronto After Dark (TADFF 2015).

THE DEMOLISHER - Review By Greg Klymkiw - If you can imagine acommingling of the aesthetic DNA twixt the ennui of Atom Egoyan & 80sschlockmeister James (The Exterminator) Glickenhaus, then you're inluck. The Toronto Premiere is at TADFF and it's looming large -COUNTDOWN TO TADFF 2015

My countdown to the 2015 Toronto After Dark Film Festival (TADFF 2015) will feature a variety of pieces on great genre work in the tradition of this terrific film festival which occurs in Toronto, Canada, Oct. 15-23, 2015. Let this countdown serve as a buffet of delectably exotic appetizers before the Big Meal Deal of my festival coverage.

COUNTDOWN TO TADFF 2015 #4 is in honour of THE DEMOLISHER a very disturbing twist on vigilante film which first enjoyed its world premiere at the 2015 edition of the FantAsia International Film Festival in Montreal and will be unleashed upon Toronto at TADFF 2015. Here's Greg Klymkiw's review (with a few new hidden morsels of copy since its original date of publication.)

The Demolisher (2015)
Dir. Gabriel Carrer
Starring: Ry Barrett, Tianna Nori, Jessica Vano

Review By Greg Klymkiw

After policewoman Samantha (Tianna Nori) suffers a near-fatal attack (after attempting to rescue a baby in the midst of a devil worship ceremony, no less), she's crippled for life and forced to haul about in a wheelchair. Her angry hubby Bruce (Ry Barrett), a cable repair technician goes completely bunyip. (Where have we heard about el-sicko cable guys before?)

Night after night, our understandably dour and obsessed gent dons mega-protective armour, nicely accoutred with an ultra-cool helmet and shading his mean-ass visage with a creepily stylish visor. Armed with a nice selection of weaponry, he stalks the late-night streets looking for scumbags - any scumbags - that he can take down and send straight to Hell.

Seems reasonable enough, yes?

Eventually, however, it becomes obvious that Bruce is no longer bunyip for mere revenge, he's just plain bunyip and desires to kill, period. After getting a taste of murder pure and simple (an enjoyable murder as it's perfectly justified), he targets Marie (Jessica Vano), an innocent young jogger who just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Thus begins a terrifying night for her as she's stalked by a madman bent upon snuffing her lights out - uh, pretty much for no reason, or, shall we suggest, the most meagre and vaguely dubious reason roiling about in his diseased mind, but mostly because he's really flipped his gourd.

Okay, so The Demolisher is clearly one of the strangest, most perverse vigilante movies I've seen in quite some time, possibly ever to be honest. Audiences looking for carnage will get more than their fair share, but I suspect that the only killing they'll enjoy in any sort of traditional Death Wish or Walking Tall manner is the one horrific murder of someone who is not a criminal (though like I said earlier, the fuckwad clearly deserves it).

Audiences will also be surprised and most probably delighted with all the clear thought that's gone into the screenplay in terms of examining a mind steadily rotting under pressure. There are clearly and deliberately paced moments within the oddball domestic set-up which proceeds with very little dialogue and mostly some extremely effective looks and silences. This is probably a good thing since some of the dialogue proves a bit clunky in these moments, the lion's share of clunkiness wafting out of poor Samantha's mouth and occasionally affecting Tianna Nori's otherwise good work.

There's also one ludicrous scene where crippled Samantha manages to crawl into the bathtub with her brooding hubby. In theory, I'm all there. In practise, not so much. If you're going to have a babe join her hubby in the tubby, why the fuck would she be wearing her goddamn nightie? I can understand not getting a nice glimpse of dick, though I'd have been most appreciative of the view myself, but seriously, to not have the hot cripple doff her garments for a loll-about in the tub is tantamount to B-Movie heresy. (And frankly, seeing anyone in a bathtub with clothes on is just plain dumb.)

My fetishes aside, Ry Barrett is effectively stalwart and brooding throughout and what can be said about Jessica Vano other than her fine performance? Well, uh, she's, like, a babe, and we get to see her running around in fear for half the movie. Vano's hot dashing-about-madly-for-her-life rivals that of Penelope Ann Miller tear-assing through the dank caverns of an old museum in The Relic.

That takes some doing.

Seriously, hot chicks running around in terror is a blessing, not a curse. Ain't nothing sexier than that. But enough of my fetishes.

I loved the look of this movie. It's just plain ugly for much of its running time, but intentionally so. Cinematographer Martin Buzora's exquisitely evocative retro lighting and compositions expertly capture both the seediness of the superbly selected/utilized locations as well as the cold, impersonal, almost dank qualities of the interiors. The score by Glen Nicholls is especially dynamite, evoking an eerie blend of 80s funk-drone with just plain effective thriller cues.

And there is a definite 80s feel to the picture (for some, this is better, for others, it'll be worse), but I found the entire tone of the movie fascinating. Once again we have a Canadian genre film with its own distinct indigenous style. Yes, it's clearly inspired by an American tradition of such pictures, but its narrative, look and pace are Canadian in all the best ways - proving again that having a diametrically opposed north of the 49th parallel aesthetic allows for a wholly unique take on genre cinema.

Director Gabriel Carrer might have pulled off the near impossible here by creating a film that shares aesthetic DNA twixt the sad ennui of Atom Egoyan's best work and famed 80s schlockmeister James (The Exterminator) Glickenhaus. It's a film that revels in its exploitative roots whilst examining them also, but without being moralistic.

Only in Canada, you say? That's a good thing!

That said, if a movie is going to have some devil worship involving a baby as a sacrifice, could it not at least have the good taste to show the little nipper being hacked open? But, enough of my fetishes.

THE FILM CORNER RATING: ***½ 3-and-a-half Stars

The Demolisher enjoys its Toronto Premiere at the 2015 Toronto After Dark Film Festival (TADFF 2015). For dates, times and tix, visit the festival website HERE. The Demolisher is represented for world wide sales by the visionary Canadian genre specialists Raven Banner.

SCREEN LEGEND TAB HUNTER watches new film by Canuck Guy Maddin! Grossmultimillion dollar PRO-WAR Canadian film BOX-OFFICE FLOP. HYENA ROAD'sper-screen average decimated by opening numbers of brilliant,imaginative and LOW-BUDGET Guy Maddin film THE FORBIDDEN ROOM -Report/Commentary by Greg Klymkiw

GUY MADDIN with delighted FORBIDDEN ROOM
New York audience member, screen legend TAB HUNTER.
In other news, Paul Gross abomination HYENA ROAD is a
BIG FAT FLOP

Maddin Fêted in New York
with Fine Single-Screen Opening Weekend Numbers

Gross Multimillion Dollar Canadian Pro-War Film a FLOP
with Paltry Per-Screen Average

Report and Commentary By Greg Klymkiw

Millions upon millions of dollars towards the production and extensive marketing budget of the Paul Gross propaganda war film Hyena Road, much of it plucked from the purse-strings of Canadian taxpayers, opened this past long weekend on 174 screens across the Land of Beavers and Maple Syrup. Meanwhile, Guy Maddin's insane, brilliant, meagrely budgeted avant-garde contemporary classic The Forbidden Room, garnered numbers at the ticket-wicket to put its trough-gobbling Canuck big brother straight into a hand-shoveled latrine in Afghanistan.

On one screen in New York City, Maddin's movie collected an impressive 4-day long weekend tally of $7000 whilst Gross's Folly struggled to garner a mere $2500 per screen average during the same period. If one includes the admittedly soft Toronto numbers, Maddin's per-screen average grosses over the same period come out to $4200, still besting the gross-per-screeners of Hyena Road's $2500.

The bottom line is this, even if Hyena Road holds steady in Canada at these numbers, it will do so through the sheer force of will of all those responsible for backing this lame pony - more money in marketing, perchance, added screens, uh, more money - but given that the picture is a style-bereft slab of pro-war propaganda, mediocre to the max and an already out-of-date Middle-Eastern sand-and-turban slaughter-fest, one cannot see its theatrical life outside of Canada being all that impressive. Its home video prospects might prove somewhat better, but the reality is that this is the kind of ephemera which will have virtually no shelf-life where it counts - as a work of art, and certainly not even in a commercial sense.

For my fuller commentary about the moronic waste of promotional resources on Hyena Road entitled "The Unbearable Promotion of War: Buying Grosses for Wasteful Gross Film", click HERE.

In many ways, the best bet when it comes to taxpayer-supported culture in Canada (particularly English-Canada) is work like Guy Maddin's The Forbidden Room. His fans at the box-office (and critically) will always be there for his work and will usually not be too disappointed (save perhaps for the ambitious, but clunky Twilight of the Ice Nymphs). Given the sheer madness (or if you will, "Maddin-ness") of this latest fest-o-fetishes, I'm especially delighted how crazed the American critical scribes have been (even the normally staid New York Times had to succumb). Its shelf-life will last long beyond the traditional windows of exploitation.

Maddin's earliest work is well over one-quarter-of-a-century old and still shows no sign of abatement in terms of its long-time admirers who've become even more slavish in their devotion. Even now, the work is harvesting huge swaths of new fans every year. Maddin's art is celebrated and written about in a seemingly infinite number of prestigious books, magazines and journals.  On that front, the accolades and scholarship for his films show no sign of ever easing up..

If a government is going to back film culture, especially film culture, shelf-life is everything. Immortality should be the goal. Art, TRUE art, delivers a much better bang for the buck. There are audiences out there for it too. Alas, our domestic exhibitors (not indies, but major chains, of which there is really only one, a monopoly allowed by the current Harper Conservative government), have the strength to show a real corporate responsibility to committing themselves to genuine Canadian culture of a lasting quality. To date, this has not happened in any significant manner.

The bottom line, is that the players who invested their time, money and elbow grease in films like Guy Maddin's (or Atom Egoyan's or Peter Mettler's or Albert Shin's or Igor Drljača's or Ingrid Veninger's or David Cronenberg's or . . . the list goes on and on) - these are the players who are investing in our cinematic equivalents to Da Vinci, Turner, Modigliani, Picasso and . . . the list goes on and on. The players investing in the likes of filmmakers like Paul Gross are doing little more than investing in the cinematic equivalents to velvet paintings.

The one good thing about Hyena Road is that it is responsible for apportioning a sliver of its grotesquely huge budget on the commissioned "making of" documentary by Guy Maddin and his collaborators Evan and Galen Johnson. Bring Me The Head of Tim Horton is not only a bonafide masterwork, it's probably one of the few, if not only "Making Of" doc that far exceeds its subject in terms of quality and lasting value. Feel free to read my review of Bring Me the Head of Tim Horton HERE. If you want to know why The Forbidden Room is a contemporary masterwork, read my review HERE.

If, you need to read about wise decisions to finance Canadian cinema during the past year, feel free to read my review of Hurt HERE, my review of of The Waiting Room HERE, my review of Sleeping Giant HERE, my review of The Rainbow Kid HERE, my review of Fire Song HERE and the list, go on, and on, and on.

If you want to read about the kind of overpriced, empty, overblown crap that should never be made in Canada (unless completely financed by the marketplace), feel free to read my review of Hyena Road HERE.

And I reiterate, TAB HUNTER, for God's Sake, came to see The Forbidden Room. Paul Gross can eat his heart out.

Hyena Road is playing on 174 screens across Canada. The Forbidden Room is playing at the Film Forum in New York and the TIFF Bell Lightbox in Toronto.

WE ARE STILL HERE - DVD/BLU-RAY Review By Greg Klymkiw - Anchor Bay Entertainment Canada unleashes this Creepily Effective Old-Fashioned Haunted House Thriller on homevideo - COUNTDOWN TO TADFF 2015

My countdown to the 2015 Toronto After Dark Film Festival (TADFF 2015) will feature a variety of pieces on great genre work in the tradition of this terrific film festival which occurs in Toronto, Canada, Oct. 15-23, 2015. Let this countdown serve as a buffet of delectably exotic appetizers before the Big Meal Deal of my festival coverage.

COUNTDOWN TO TADFF 15 #3 is in honour of Anchor Bay Entertainment Canada's recent BluRay/DVD release of Ted Geoghegan's We Are Still Here

We Are Still Here (2015)
Dir. Ted Geoghegan
Starring: Barbara Crampton,
Andrew Sensenig, Larry Fessenden, Lisa Marie, Monte Markham

Review By Greg Klymkiw

There's always room for a solid "things that go bump in the night" haunted house picture, so long as the proceedings are handled with proficiency and a minimum degree of stupidity. Ted Geoghan's first feature film We Are Still Here succeeds on both counts.

Yes, we've been down this road before. The Sacchettis are an attractive, well-to-do couple still grieving from the accidental death of their only son. They've chosen flight from familiar surroundings to heal and move into a gorgeous, old house in the wide open spaces of Inbred-ville, New England. Situated on a gorgeous estate, isolated, but not too far away from a nearby village (full of inbreds), the couple appear to have nailed the real estate find of the century.

Uh-oh.

We all know that when an old, long-unoccupied house in the middle of nowhere goes for a steal, there's bound to be some ectoplasmic shenanigans going on. Luckily, we are not the Sacchettis. We are the audience. We know better, which is always a good deal for us, yes?

Anne (played by the always-delectable Barbara Crampton of Re-Animator fame) feels her son's spirit is still with them and that he's followed them to their new digs. Paul (Andrew Sensenig), being the lowly male of the equation is far more practical about such matters, but he sensitively humours her and agrees to a visit from their longtime spiritualist friends. May (played by the gorgeous Lisa Marie of Vampira fame in Ed Wood and unceremoniously booted by director Tim Burton in favour of the ratty-mopped Helena Bonham Carter) is psychic. Her hubby Jacob (the always wonderful character actor and Habit director Larry Fessenden, looking more like Jack Nicholson in The Shining with every picture) is a dope-smoking old hippie with new-agey powers in crystals and seances.

It's always convenient when bereaved couples know spiritualist couples. It makes horror movies so much more lively, yes?

Of course, what would a New England community of inbreds be without a couple of real whoppers of inbreds? Creepy old neighbour Dave McCabe (Monte Markham) and his nutty wife Maddie (Susan Gibney) pop by for a friendly visit wherein we get all the dope on the Sacchettis' new home.

It's an old funeral parlour, situated on unhallowed ground and formerly run by a family who pilfered bodies and sold them to a nearby medical college. Or so we're told.

Yes, it's always convenient when bereaved couples move into old funeral parlours on unhallowed ground formerly run by inbreds who sold bodies to be sliced and diced by med students. It's even more convenient that the inbreds might actually have been innocent of this crime and murdered by the inbred townspeople.

Are you with me? Good. This is what our impish filmmaker has laid out for the mega-scares to follow. Though screenwriter Geoghegan doesn't really go beyond the stock tropes of most ghostly melodramas, Geoghegan the director does go through some mighty impressive gymnastics of helmsmanship to knock us on our collective butts all the way through this effective chiller.

Babe-O-Licious Barbara Crampton as HOT now
as she was in 1985's RE-ANIMATOR. Hubba-Hubba!

The real star of the film is Canadian cinematographer Karim Hussain who superbly handles Geoghegan's morbidly creepy mise-en-scene with considerable aplomb. The camera feels like a character unto itself - its gorgeous compositions and lighting make us feel like something genuinely unholy is actively observing the proceedings whilst occasionally making us feel like we're seeing stuff that may or may not be there. Hussain moves the camera so deftly and subtly that we're often chilled to the bone - not just by the gorgeously captured winter climes surrounding the house, but by the manner in which it glides and/or settles upon the dank details of the house and especially, the basement. The chilling musical score and alternately shivery, heart-attack-inducing sound design are also brilliantly rendered, giving us ample creeps and shocks.

Especially in the basement.

Oh yes! 'Tis always convenient for a haunted house to have a clammy basement with a boiler on the fritz causing temperatures to rise and a strange wall that supposedly has nothing behind it.

Then, there are the ghastly apparitions and, the blood.

They are plenty ghastly.

And yes, there is plenty of blood. (And thanks to a lovely Straw Dogs-inspired climax, the picture racks up a very impressive body count.)

All that said, if you're looking for a bit more meat on the bones of the bereaved couple horror scenario, you're not going to find it here. There's potential to have steered the film into the complex, layered territory of Nicolas Roeg's Don't Look Now, but Geoghegan seems content to keep us in the shock-o-rama territory of his more clear influence, the grand Italian shock-meister Lucio (The Beyond, The House by the Cemetery) Fulci.

I accept this.

The movie forced me to soil myself on numerous occasions. Luckily, I've learned long ago to always wear adult diapers for my sojourns into the cinematic territory of haunted house thrillers. Thankfully, this one is up there with those pictures keen on skilfully delivering all the visceral thrills and chills which, ultimately, are the hallmark for all fine horror pictures.

THE FILM CORNER RATING: ***½ 3-and-a-Half-Stars

We Are Still Here from Anchor Bay Entertainment Canada and Raven Banner is now available on a superb Blu-Ray/DVD release which comes complete with extras including a superb commentary track from filmmaker Ted Geoghegan.

SUBURBAN GOTHIC - DVD Review by Greg Klymkiw - Anchor Bay Entertainment Canada unleashes wonky cult horror item on homevideo - COUNTDOWN TO TADFF 2015

My countdown to the 2015 Toronto After Dark Film Festival (TADFF 2015) will feature a variety of pieces on great genre work in the tradition of this terrific film festival which occurs in Toronto, Canada, Oct. 15-23, 2015. Let this countdown serve as a buffet of delectably exotic appetizers before the Big Meal Deal of my festival coverage.

COUNTDOWN TO TADFF 15 #2 is in honour of Anchor Bay Entertainment Canada's recent DVD/Blu-Ray Combo Pack release of SUBURBAN GOTHIC (seen during the 2014 edition of TADFF). Here's Greg Klymkiw's review.

Something's not quite right in the
SUBURBS.
Tell me something
I don't know.

Suburban Gothic (2014)
Dir. Richard Bates Jr.
Starring: Matthew Gray Gubler, Kat Dennings, Ray Wise, Barbara Niven, Mel Rodriguez, John Waters, Sally Kirkland, Jeffrey Combs, Mackenzie Phillips, Jennifer Lynch, Jen Soska, Sylvia Soska, Ronnie Gene Blevins, Muse Watson

Review By Greg Klymkiw

Suburbia is one of the easiest targets in the world to wrench a few laughs from, but when the aim is true, as it is in the cool, funny and sexy horror comedy Suburban Gothic, then a spirited romp through familiar territory can indeed seem new and decidedly fun again. Helmer Richard Bates Jr. and co-scribe Richard Bruner serve up a wild phantasm of slacker ennui amidst the scares in this tale of the un/under-employed-un-employable mop-haired MBA grad Richard (Matthew Gray Gubler) who's forced by a lack of finances to move in with his horrendously straight-laced parents (Ray Wise, Barbara Niven) in their bungalow ensconced in the dull domain of the leafy, sun-dappled 'burbs.

Richard's got a problem. Well, he has many problems: a nagging, bullying jock Dad, a spin-cycle Mom and that annoying employment (or lack thereof) issue, but the real spanner in the works is that he's got a disturbingly paranormal tendency to connect with the dead.

The family home is undergoing massive landscaping renovations via a sleaze-ball contractor (Mel Rodriguez) whose prolonged topographical desecrations are raising the ire of the dearly departed. Richard seeks solace in the local watering hole where he connects romantically with the goth-chick bartender Becca (Kat Dennings). In no time at all, the anti-establishment couple are making like an amalgam of Shaggy, Freddie, Daphne, Velma and Scooby-Dooby-Doo in order to get to the bottom of the ghostly apparitions and dead bodies terrorizing the town.

The script is chock-full of fun banter, zippy one-liners and spirited (in more ways than one) characters. The terrific cast is more than up to the challenge of spitting out their dialogue with all the requisite screwball skill and helmer Bates Jr. fills his frame with garish 80s colour schemes to allow for splashes of suitably grotesque backdrops for all the verbal jousting. Adding to the mix is a sprightly score and grungy songs, providing added oomph to the whole buoyant affair.

Though the plot races perfunctorily to an expected conclusion during the final third of the running time, we tend to be overly forgiving of this flaw since so much of the movie is just downright diverting. Thankfully, all the aforementioned is played straight by the leads, especially the uber-hilarious Ray Wise. The filmmakers happily cram a month-of-Sundays worth of cool cameos by an all-star assemblage of popular filmmakers (John Waters and the babe-o-licious Soska Sisters) and cult-stars of yesteryear (gotta love Sally Kirkland and Jeffrey Combs) to make the picture a geeky, gosh-golly-gee fanboys' delight.

Let the nocturnal emissions begin.

Suburban Gothic is in town.

THE FILM CORNER RATING: *** 3-Stars

Suburban Gothic is available on a DVD/Blu-Ray Combo Pack from Anchor Bay Entertainment Canada.

EJECTA - Greg Klymkiw Interviews Co-Director Matt Wiele, PLUS links to Klymkiw's reviews of Ejecta and his interview with screenwriter Tony Burgess - COUNTDOWN TO TADFF 2015

My countdown to the 2015 Toronto After Dark Film Festival (TADFF 2015) will feature a variety of pieces on great genre work in the tradition of this terrific film festival which occurs in Toronto, Canada, Oct. 15-23, 2015. Let this countdown serve as a buffet of delectably exotic appetizers before the Big Meal Deal of my festival coverage.

COUNTDOWN TO TADFF 15 #1 is in honour of Anchor Bay Entertainment Canada's recent DVD release of the Foresight Features/Raven Banner presentation of EJECTA. Here's Greg Klymkiw's interview with co-director Matt Wiele, followed by links to reviews of the film and an interview with screenwriter Tony Burgess at the cool UK online mag, "Electric Sheep". You'll also find a few links to related materials throughout the piece - just don't click on the fuckers until you finish this Klymkiw-Wiele conversational reverie.

Interview with Matt Wiele, co-director of EJECTA
By Greg Klymkiw

GREG KLYMKIW: I love this movie so much. I've been following UFO reports for two decades (shortwave weirdness, Art Bell, George Noory, Chris Rutkowski from Manitoba, etc.). [Screenwriter Tony] Burgess told me he essentially wrote to order for you guys on this idea. So, where, how and why did you guys come up for the idea of this film? Did your inspirations come from all the "semi" legit UFO stuff? Or, perhaps, even the popular academic stuff in those great books by the astro-physicist Michio Kaku and his thoughts on parallel universe, multi-dimensional theories, etc?

MATT WIELE: Thanks for the love! Your review that came out during Fantasia [2014 International Film Festival in Montreal] was my favourite and I'm not just blowing smoke up your ass.

GK: I'm not partial to receiving many things up my ass, least of all lightbulbs and gerbils, but I will take all the smoke up there that I can get.

MW: It was just so great to read how well you got what we were trying to do with Ejecta.

GK: Some might call me a sick fuck, but I take UFO and alien stuff pretty seriously. Speaking of sick-fucks, let's hear about Burgess and your influences, etc.

MW: Both the idea and working with Tony Burgess came in a series of folds, first from the intent to make a very tense, fast and fucking scary found footage film. It evolved from there to include a larger wrap-around story about the whole institutional side of the unknown. For me the inspiration was simple in its truest form, which was, if I could think of situations in life that would scare the vomit out of me, like full-on puke-my-guts-out chunk blowing terror, it would be getting chased by an alien in the woods.

GK: Given that I believe in the fuckers, I can't say I'd disagree with you.

MW: Pure and simple. Complete and utter terror. Though actually it is complex, considering we're talking about aliens being real. The universe as a whole is just way too big for my tiny mind to comprehend so I have, and will forever be dumbfounded by all of it. Because of this I tried to keep the idea simple.

GK: Simple is always best. It's the things that yields the layers. So, what's the simple pitch?

MW: A crazy conspiracy blogger [played by Julian Richings], claims to have been mentally-invaded by aliens for the last 40 years. In an addled state, he asks a young videographer {Adam Seybold] to come and meet him to tell his story on-camera. That night a small spaceship crashes nearby and the two guys get mega-terrorized. The wrap-around to this involves a creepy, kick-ass Black-Ops military babe [Lisa Houle] who overseas a series of horrific experiments upon the crazy blogger.

GK: What I love about Foresight Features and Blackfawn Films [the visionary rurally-based Canadian production companies that co-produced Ejecta] is that the work is rooted in the country livin' - or at least, not fucking Toronto. These are locales both companies hang their shingles in. To what extent do you feel this has informed Ejecta? Do you guys naturally look to the skies in the Guelph/Collingwood areas? I ask out of personal experience. I confess, living way north on the Bruce Peninsula for most of my existence, I do. Do you feel there is something about the rural "psyche" which allows more openness to notions of ET life and visitation? To what extent, if any, do you think this informed the project?

MW: Like I said before, I find great comfort or understanding from simplification and for me it boils down to the fact that when you're in a city with millions of people, buildings and endless sensory stimuli, it's far easier to be distracted by what surrounds you on the human level instead of what surrounds you on a cosmic level. In the rural setting, especially dare I say "out in the country" where there are no street lights, and the only illumination at night comes from the moon and the stars it's essentially impossible to ignore. Just like you experience up on the Bruce the skies are fucking big out here. That isolation also plays perfectly into horror and sci-fi tropes. Whether it's two guys out in the woods being chased by an alien, a group of kids out at a cabin in the woods being terrorized by a slasher character, or even humans lost in space, it all stems from some form of isolation when terror strikes. I find myself getting into a trance at times just staring out at the sky while my brain shuts down trying to process. With that isolation and opportunity to sit and stare I think there is a more accepting thought of "what the fuck is out there?"

GK: The idea of the aliens creating what is, essentially, a fucking living room in Julian Riching's mind to hold their ET kaffeeklatches got me soooooo hard. The fuck, you guys? Where'd this sickness come from? Did you ever consider shooting these alien get-togethers in some perverse literal construct of Julian's brain? If so, were there, like, armchairs with doilies and coffee tables and shit like that? If this never entered yours and/or Tony's diseased minds, is it, or something similar to it, a possibility for a prequel/sequel?

MW: [Laughs uproariously. Perhaps too uproariously.] That's amazing. That "living room" in Julian's mind was, naturally, all Burgess. Tony has such an amazing ability to not fall into the standard or obvious story paths - duh - and he thought it would be interesting to set it up as if these things would probe or experiment with Julian mentally and not in the way we're used to seeing wherein aliens would abduct him and poke his asshole looking for human answers. Further to that, I always had a strong mental image of Julian's character performing a crude autopsy on a table in his shed with just a simple hanging light over top as he was poking and prodding this thing, so we tried to flip a typical dynamic between man and alien on its head. As far as having shots of the aliens in cardigans playing cribbage in Julian's head, we didn't think to roll with that, but now that you mention it...

GK: How much pull [booze] is consumed when you guys work with Tony? How does pull contribute to the early stages of the creative process? Would you ever consider having creative meetings up north here with Ma Pincock and her boys so you could create with her magnificent home brew whilst cavorting with her hideously deformed lads? [For further insights into this statement, read my interview HERE with Tony Burgess on the Foresight film entitled Hellmouth - scroll down to the section entitled "PULL, MEAT DRAW and PINCOCKS".]

MW: The pull had become quite customary when gathering with Tony. For those unfamiliar with the term, "pull" refers to single malt scotch, typically amongst 12-15 year old lads, often of the Highland variety. We use pull more as a reward than a constant for the creative process. Often it would go that we would get the wheels turning at a nice pace on the creative side of things before introducing our first sips. As Burgess has coined, "earn the pull". Due to some lifestyle changes the pull has been put on hold so despite the generous offering, I would have to respectfully decline the homebrew, at least for now. Maybe on the next film however.

GK: It seems obvious to me how you two directed Ejecta. [I refer here to co-directors Wiele and Chad Archibald, the latter of the pair having bailed on the dubious opportunity to talk to me, in spite of the fact that I cascaded huge wads of critical semen upon his new film BITE, which you can read HERE.] You see, Ejecta has two concurrent narrative/stylistic movements, so for me, it makes sense without even knowing the facts. Would you like to talk about the creative collaboration in terms of the planning of and shooting of the film itself? It'll be fun hearing from you separately on this. Here you'll have a shot at trashing Archibald if desired.

MW: One thing I've learned about Mr. Chad Archibald is that he is immune to being trashed as it's simply impossible to do so to such a good man. [Oops! Maybe y'all need to read my decimating Klymkiw-special review of Archibald's The Drownsman HERE.] Working together in a variety of roles across this film, as well as on Hellmouth and Septic Man, I formed a strong bond and respect for his work ethic and wealth of talents. It was damn interesting and exciting working together on this as I took the reins at the start with the POV style shoot, getting the first chunk of production done and then moved into full time producing as Chad directed the second production. It was an incredible lesson in creativity and adaptability to make this film come together the way it did. Collaboration was king throughout as it always should be in independent film. Without your army around you it's damn near impossible to make anything in this industry.

GK: Was Julian Richings always a part of the equation, even in the earliest stages of creating the film? He's probably one of the world's greatest character actors. How do you work with him? What's his process as an actor and how do you mesh with it, encourage it, repress it, etc.?

MW: Yes, Julian was always part of the equation and an actor we've wanted to work with for years. He's a tremendous talent and even more, a tremendous human being. Initially I had a few phone calls with him and set up a table read for the second-to-last-draft of the script along with Adam Seybold, Tony Burgess and myself. From there it was final refinements based on everyone's notes and then, off to the races. I think we meshed very well as I had full confidence in Julian, obviously, and he, in turn, was incredibly confident in me, which, being a first time director was key. What I loved most about working with him, aside from always making my job much easier thanks to his talents, was that he always had great insights and offerings for the character and the specific scenes. This was especially true when it came to the found footage stuff, where blocking the scene was incredibly important and finding the marks not just physically, but also from a story and dialogue standpoint, was incredibly vital. Julian is a trooper and his dedication to his performance and the team is humbling.

GK: The movie is fucking scary on a number of levels. How do you specifically infuse those things that scare you into the film?

MW: I tried to keep the tension of what scares the shit out of me as a central pulse to the POV footage and characters. I think it's like directing in a manner that's similar to how actors try to call on personal experiences, to put themselves into the right space for their characters' emotions. I think we have to do that as directors.

GK: You and Archibald must both have distinctive voices as filmmakers. How aware are each of you in terms of your respective personal stamps? How do these mesh and/or positively repel each other throughout the entire process of making the film?

MW: I've been the producer on six features, but have only directed one, so I think my voice hasn't been fully established. Hopefully I can direct more projects in the future and start shaping the concept of who I am as a filmmaker, but right now my focus was pace, action and scares. I think Chad has an incredible voice in the Indie horror community and his stamp is obvious in terms of production quality, execution and originality. I'd say his voice was essential in making this film shape up the way it did and in such a creative way after filming the original content. I think for both of us keeping things positive and enjoyable for everyone on-set is key. This is especially important when adversity hits, the cold creeps in or a gag isn't working exactly how you envisioned it. It's key to have the positive propel you through the challenges you'll get hit with every single day on set.

GK: In terms of post-production, the end result feels like you both had definite ideas about the coverage you needed in order to play with it fruitfully in the cutting room. Were there any surprises post-shoot which informed the final product? If so, what were they?

MW: This film was an interesting beast to cut together. Initially we had all envisioned a linear timeline for the story but after a rough assembly we felt we needed to ramp up the pace and tension, sticking with the intent to always aim to create something great. I took on a lot of the final editing duties as Chad was working away on his next feature and after a ton of insight from fellow filmmakers and Foresight Features producers, Jesse Cook and John Geddes, we went with the multiple timelines colliding and that really made the thing sing. It kept the audience guessing, the pace and tension high and demanded a lot of the viewer. I found editing this film to be one the most challenging and rewarding times in my career. It was both a demon and a delight.

GK: Did you guys ever consider having more babes in the movie?

MW: Indeed we did. It's always a discussion that comes up when planning a film and story. However, we try not to get hung up on "this story needs X females, Y males, Z races". We just let it happen naturally. Specifically to the central female character Tobin, Tony was absolutely set on her being a hard-ass, and ultimately, completely crazy. Lisa [Houle] did a great job pulling off that wildness.

GK: Did either of you indulge any of your fetishes with respect to the film and the finished product? If so, would you mind elaborating? I guess what I'm referring to here is how most genre directors including greats like Hitchcock and DePalma barf-up their fetishes all over their films.

MW: Originally there was going to be a death scene involving the alien absorbing Julian by way of his skin, which when we started filming it kinda looked like they were fucking, so we turfed it. Also, I've never really had a "fucking an alien fetish", other than the gal with three boobs in Total Recall, of course.

GK: Of course!

Ejecta is on DVD via Anchor Bay Entertainment Canada

AND NOW, HERE'S A WHOLE LOT MORE TO READ ABOUT EJECTA:

Click HERE to read my original Fantasia Festival review of EJECTA

Click HERE to read my DVD review of EJECTA at Electric Sheep

Click HERE to read my INTERVIEW with Tony Burgess on EJECTA at Electric Sheep

Wanna see something really GROSS? Here are just a few of the disgusting items on the Cineplex Entertainment website wildly promoting the crummy Paul Gross pro-war film HYENA ROAD + links to Greg Klymkiw's reviews of HYENA ROAD and the brilliant "Making of" Documentary by Guy Maddin, Evan Johnson and Galen Johnson which is light-years better than Paul Gross's film itself. Enjoy!

Here's something GROSS!
Win a Trip to Ottawa in honour of
the pro-war film HYENA ROAD
Visit the Nation's Capital
Governed by RACIST FASCISTS
You paid for a good chunk of this
with your tax dollars under the aegis
of the aforementioned RACIST FASCIST
government, so ENJOY!!!

The Unbearable Promotion of War:
Buying Grosses for Wasteful Gross Film

Editorial Commentary By Greg Klymkiw

The new Canadian war film Hyena Road tries to mask itself as anything but a pro-war film, but as it extols the virtues of Canada's involvement in a war which killed, maimed and shell-shocked too many of our nation's soldiers for reasons that had everything to do with buttressing the financial goals of corporate pigs, it's clearly one of the most foul pieces of garbage foisted upon us courtesy of several million Canadian taxpayer dollars.

When writer-producer-director Paul Gross sallied over to Afghanistan for a morale-boosting "meet and greet" with our fighting men and women a few years ago, he realized it was necessary to make a film about Canadians and for Canadians. Rather than focusing upon the war machine and America's perverted desires to lie to its people about extremist Muslims being the real threat, he chose instead to give us some good, old rah-rah with oodles of war pornography.

He decided to tell of a joint Canadian-American initiative to build a road through hostile territory to ensure safe back-and-forth passage through hostile "enemy" territory. Make no mistake, Canada was the enemy in Afghanistan. Gross, however, clearly had no interest in the agendas of the New World Order, the 1% of the wealthiest, who used terrorism as the excuse to murder its own soldiers and Afghans.

According to a sampling of the reams of promotional bumph on the Cineplex Entertainment website:

"...Gross felt a calling to present a very real slice of the Canadian military’s efforts in Afghanistan. This wasn't just to use film as a means of educating those who don’t really understand Canada’s role in the war. [Our role was a spurious one, but Gross has no interest in this.] It was also to give a voice, and humanity, [Humanity! Hah!] to not only the soldiers risking their lives every day to protect the sanctity of freedom [Sanctity of FREEDOM! Who the fuck are they trying to kid?], but the Afghan warriors typically villainized. [Another yeah right! The film shows one "good" Afhghan warrior and most of the rest are the typical Snidely Whiplash villains, especially a sleazy two-faced Afghan villain.]

Here's the real GROSS part to all this. The amount of promotional support for this film on the Cineplex website and in its theatre lobbies and on its screens is huge. On top of this are all the millions of dollars from Federal and Provincial coffers to produce, market and distribute this film. I have no problem with Canadian films receiving this - not even Hyena Road. However, how many Canadian films get this kind of promotional support? Not many. How many Canadian films are supported to such a degree by Cineplex Entertainment? Not many. In fact, how many Canadian films does Cineplex Entertainment bother to even show? Not many and it's getting worse, not better.

Enjoy 300 SCENE Loyalty Points from
Cineplex Entertainment when buying
a ticket to the Canadian War Pornography
HYENA ROAD during its first week!!!

What's essentially happening with Hyena Road and a handful of other "anointed" Canadian films is that both the government and corporations like Cineplex Entertainment are buying grosses to put bums in seats. This allows everyone to pat themselves on the back, publicize big grosses (which usually aren't that big to begin with) so that a whole whack of folks can save face by backing these few horses. And then, based on these spurious numbers, the producers of said pieces of garbage are giving green lights to keep gobbling from the troughs and make more shitty movies.

In addition to the hilariously pathetic Cineplex Entertainment contest to send two - count 'em - two lucky people to Ottawa, they're also offering Scene loyalty card bonus points if people see Hyena Road during the first week. 300 points to be exact. This represents almost one third of an eventual free ticket to see a movie. Again, I have no problem with this. It offers a decent promotional incentive to patrons and if it works, it assists in top-loading the first week of release with more paying viewers. However, how many Canadian films are afforded this great promotion? Uh, not too many.

The amount of promo material for Hyena Road on the Cineplex Entertainment website is staggering. Just for fun, here is another ludicrous quotation taken directly from Cineplex.com:

These are stories that are often overlooked, as Canada’s participation in the war is not something that is often depicted on film. The cast discuss their respect for Gross, who is telling important historical stories that our nation deserves to have heard.

Excuse me, did I just read that correctly? The cast of Hyena Road "discuss" on the Cineplex Entertainment website "their respect for [Paul] Gross"? Why, pray tell? For "telling important historical stories that our nation deserves to have heard."

You know, what our nation deserved to hear is not the war porn bunkum Gross craps onto the screen. We don't need this propaganda. We need to know the truth behind what our veterans from Afghanistan and every other war have had to suffer because they were duped into fighting for freedom.

If Paul Gross had any concern at all about the bravery of Canada's armed forces, he might have thought to tell the stories of how our fighting men and women have been treated like shit by our own government. How about stories of Canadian soldiers and their applications for assistance to the Department of Veterans Affairs taking 5 years or more? How about stories of same said veterans being denied assistance after waiting for so many years? How about the fact that this mean-spirited incompetence directed at these members of our armed forces are a result of the Canadian Fuhrer closing nine Veterans Affairs offices across the country, firing 900 Veterans Affairs staff members, not using one billion dollars earmarked for veterans' assistance, ignoring a detailed and damning Auditor General report condemning the Harper Reichstag for doing virtually nothing to help our veterans?

How about Der Fuhrer Stephen Harper removing the right of a maimed, injured, shell-shocked veteran to a lifetime pension?

These are the real Canadian stories of war that have been swept under the rug by our government and even the media to a large degree. What the fuck is Paul Gross, Cineplex Entertainment and various levels of the Canadian government doing making propaganda and ignoring the war stories that really matter?

Sadly, for Canada, not even American filmmakers have ignored the maimed, the mad and the disenfranchised thanks to Oliver Stone (Platoon, Born on the Fourth of July), Francis Coppola (Apocalypse Now). Michael Cimino (The Deer Hunter), Samuel Fuller (Steel Helmet, The Big Red One) and, well, I could grind out a few thousand words just listing them. Even worse, for Canada, is that Gross has, with two pictures, burned through millions upon millions of dollars to make films that not only have much to say, but range from incompetence to borderline incompetence.

So go. See the movie this week. You'll get loyalty card points and contribute to supporting lacklustre filmmaking and lies. I hope Gross and anyone responsible at any level for this wad of nothingness are proud of themselves.

We can all feel proud. Hyena Road is what "we stand on guard for thee" for.

Lies, lies and more lies. And cruddy filmmaking also.

The link to my review of Hyena Road is HERE.

The link to my review of Bring Me The Head of Tim Horton, The Making of Hyena Road is HERE.

"Stay tuned. We're going to go beyond the scenes."
- Michael Kennedy, Executive Vice-President,
CINEPLEX ENTERTAINMENT

A SPECIAL DAY - Review By Greg Klymkiw - Italian Kitchen-Sink Love Story now on Criterion

A gay dissident. An overworked housewife.
Can happiness, no matter how brief, be far behind?

A Special Day (1977)
Dir. Ettore Scola
Starring: Sophia Loren, Marcello Mastroianni, John Vernon, Françoise Berd

Review By Greg Klymkiw

Writing about A Special Day is a somewhat bittersweet experience for me. Until watching the gorgeously transferred Criterion Collection Blu-Ray, I hadn't laid eyes upon the picture since 1977 when I saw it first-run on a big screen.

I saw it with my late mother. She loved Sophia Loren and was really looking forward to the movie. It didn't disappoint. It became one of her favourite movies. From time to time she'd mention it agreeably, almost wistfully. I offered, on several occasions, to get it on home video for her, but she always declined. She wasn't one to see movies more than once, even if she loved them. (Her exception to this rule was Gone With The Wind.)

For me, I recall enjoying it well enough in 1977, but I was eventually swayed by Pauline Kael's hilarious pan in The New Yorker. She referred to it as "a strenuous exercise in sensitivity" and described director Ettore Scola's style as "genteel shamelessness". In spite of my Kael-influenced position on the picture, I always maintained a positive stance whenever my mother brought it up. I tried not being a pretentious smart-ass with her.

Seeing it again, I marvelled at what an exquisitely crafted love story it really is. Yes, the picture wears its emotions on its sleeve and the political backdrop now seems somewhat obvious in how it front loads the love story which transpires twixt Sophia Loren and Marcello Mastroianni. But, on this viewing, none of these almost-machine-tooled elements mattered to me. I appreciated Scola's genuine artistry and the film's obvious merits as a first-rate weepy.

All through this screening, though, I couldn't help but think about my Mom.

I think this is a valid critical response to the film. Good movies almost always hit one on a personal level and what I admired, beyond reflecting upon my late Mother's love for it, is what a superb star vehicle it was for its leads and how the film must have resonated with audiences all over the world - especially all those Moms who related to the character Loren played so exquisitely.

The kitchen sink, laundry and Hitler
are powerless against two lonely people
finding happiness, no matter how brief.

Sophia is cast against type as Antonietta, a traditional housewife living in poverty with her brutish husband (John Vernon) and slaving over her six kids (of all ages) whilst living a life of drudgery and servitude - cooking and cleaning ad infinitum. Of course, like star vehicles the world over, Sophia's not really cast against type in the sense that she's the most gorgeous drudge in the history of movies - even without makeup. Why should it be any other way? I imagine my own Mother seeing aspects of herself in the film, but being able to do so with Sophia Loren standing up on the silver screen in her stead.

As the title tells us, the film is set during that very special day in 1938 when Adolph Hitler came to Rome in order to celebrate Totalitarian collaboration with Benito Mussolini. Loudspeakers have been set up in every nook and cranny of the city to broadcast the events of the day, even though virtually every home and business has been drained of humanity to fill the streets for Hitler.

Antonietta is home alone. There's plenty of wifely duties for her to perform - Hitler or no Hitler. When her mynah bird escapes its cage and flies across the courtyard, it lands at the window of Gabriele (Marcello Mastroianni). With his help, the bird is rescued. Alas, all this activity has interrupted Gabriele's plans to commit suicide.

I'd assert that this might be the ultimate meet-cute.

In any event, we discover Gabriele is a former household name - a radio commentator who has been fired for his liberal views and who will, no doubt, be carried off by the Black Shirt Police to rot in prison. Antonietta is charmed off her feet by the dapper intellectual. He treats her with respect and encourages her to find time to exercise her mind with reading books. He's also a homosexual. This doesn't phase Antonietta. She's bound and determined to seduce him.

This is a special day in more ways than one. Two sad, lonely people make a connection. Come what may, for several hours they discover some glimmer of happiness in their momentary closeness. Though director Scola has visually etched a borderline neorealist world, he eventually builds to a fifty-hanky tear gusher. There's no mistaking that A Special Day is anything other than what it is; a touching, sentimental, gorgeously-wrought melodrama.

And yeah, I did shed more than a few tears on this go-round. I acknowledge many of them were probably in memory of my late Mom, but I'd be a liar if I didn't admit that the skillful manner in which the film wrenches emotion also worked its magic upon me. It's the same magic that worked on my Mom, sitting in a movie theatre on a Sunday afternoon with her teenage son some thirty eight years ago.

I suspect the picture will move whole new generations of movie lovers, thanks to the painstaking restoration efforts of Criterion. Like any well crafted love story, Scola did indeed create a picture of lasting value.

THE FILM CORNER RATING: **** 4-Stars

A Special Day is available on the Criterion Collection with to-die-for supplements including: a new, restored 4K digital transfer, supervised by director Ettore Scola, with uncompressed monaural soundtrack on the Blu-ray; Human Voice, a 2014 short film starring Sophia Loren and directed by Edoardo Ponti; new interviews with Scola and Loren; two 1977 episodes of The Dick Cavett Show featuring Loren and actor Marcello Mastroianni (a mega-treat); the trailer; a new English subtitle translation; and an essay by critic Deborah Young.

OLD 37 - DVD Review By Greg Klymkiw - Alan Smithee recruited to direct this Grade Z crap

Old 37
Dir. Alan Smithee
Scr. John Landes, Paul Travers
Starring: Kane Hodder, Bill Moseley, Caitlin Harris, Olivia Alexander, Maxwell Zagorski

Review By Greg Klymkiw

What does it take for the director of a Grade-Z, crowd-founded horror film to assign his credit to the immortal Alan Smithee? Smithee is the fictional nom-de-plume directors are allowed to take, courtesy of the Directors Guild of America, when the finished film has been compromised at a script level, on-set and/or in post production. I'll try to give director Christian Winters the benefit of the doubt and assume his creativity was so compromised that he had no other choice than to dump his real name and insist upon Alan Smithee.

The problem I have, though, is imagining this film would have ever been any good.

The movie focuses upon two sets of characters and how they eventually converge under the most deadly circumstances. Group One finds us face-to-face with Jon Roy and Daryl, two inbred brothers (played respectively by horror star vets Kane Hodder and Bill Moseley) who follow in their Pappy's sicko footsteps by intercepting 911 calls on an isolated stretch of an old highway where teens frequently spinout during drag races and need EMS services. With their Pappy's old ambulance, they visit the accident site, kidnap anyone who is living and take them back to their lair to torture them to death.

Group Two involves two best friend babes. One is the shy Amy (Caitlin Harris) who feels extremely inadequate compared to her vivacious slut bestie Brooke (Olivia Alexander). Amy has the hots for Brooke's muscle-car driving beau Jason (Maxwell Zagorski), but figures she only stands a chance if she gets a boob job.

Carnage on the highway is juxtaposed with this ludicrous story of rival gal pals. Eventually Amy's Mom foots the bill for a new set of massive bolt-ons for her pining daughter. Amy is now set to snag Jason.

The plot, such as it is, thickens.

The babes will soon be making a date with Jon Roy and Daryl, and it won't be pretty.

The film is a mess. From laughably dreadful dialogue, wooden performances and cudgel-like cutting, Old 37 is a massive bore. Its only redeeming qualities are the gore FX and the estimable Hodder and Moseley.

For a film with a running time under ninety minutes, it plods along grindingly and seems like it's much longer than it is (or should be). The film attempts to be a new horror cult classic in the tradition of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the torture porn of Hostel (in the Murrican backwoods, rather than Europe), but it's only going to long forgotten. Movies this lame and derivative seldom have anything resembling lasting value. And it's soooo boring.

As such, I practically needed to jam toothpicks in my ocular orbs to stay awake.

The Film Corner Rating: * One-Star

Old 37 is available on Anchor Bay/Anchor Bay Entertainment Canada DVD.

LAST SHIFT - Review By Greg Klymkiw - HotBabeRookieCop under attack in empty precinct

Last Shift (2014/2015)
Dir. Anthony DiBlasi
Scr. DiBlasi and Scott Poiley
Starring: Juliana Harkavy, Hank Stone, J. LaRose, Matt Doman, Natalie Victoria

Review By Greg Klymkiw

With definite echoes of John Carpenter's Assault on Precinct 13, Anthony DiBlasi's Last Shift takes the familiar tale of a police station on its final night into a whole new realm of terror. Let's use Carpenter's inspiration and describe the film as Rio Bravo meets the Manson Family channelled through The Evil Dead.

Lithe, exotic, stunningly gorgeous, but clearly built to take and deliver a beating, rookie cop Jessica Loren's (Juliana Harkavy) first night on the job is to preside - alone - in the very precinct her role model cop Dad was shot and killed during the attempted incarceration of devil worshipping babes and their malevolent Manson-like leader. You see, it's the last night this station will be open and she'll be serving as little more than a glorified security guard. Upon entering the building, she's blinded by the harsh fluorescent lights reflecting off the white walls and barren quarters. Even stranger is that Sgt. Cohen (Hank Stone), her commanding officer, is nowhere to be seen or found.

Walking down a creepy long antiseptic corridor, she's shocked by the sounds of someone yelling and virtually growling unintelligibly, followed by the sudden appearance in a room down at the end of what could be the good sergeant. He's punching, kicking and smashing the walls violently until he spots her and demands she raise her hands above her head.

Yup, this is her commanding officer. Though prickly and condescending, his previously distressing behaviour dissipates and he gives her a brief tour of the joint and a few instructions before leaving for the night. He'll be back at 4am to relieve her and all she has to do is what for a forensic clean-up team to come in to dispose of a roomful of ages-old evidence files.

Once Jessica's alone, she goes through a few routine motions, but mostly sits at the front desk. When she hears some strange noises coming from deep within the hollow, echoey, lonely cop shop, we know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that things are definitely going to go awry.

Though 911 calls are supposed to be routed to the new precinct, she keeps getting strange distress calls from a young woman who claims to be kidnapped, but doesn't know where she is. Between these calls, more bumps in the night occur, including several odd visits. The first is from a mysterious homeless man (J. LaRose) whom Jessica accidentally locks herself in a cell with, followed by a terrifyingly inexplicable series of events which free her from this regrettable self-incarceration. A loiterer-cum-hooker (Natalie Victoria) hangs about to smoke a cigarette just outside and relates a few creepy stories about the night she was in a holding cell when the deadly cult members were brought in and went apeshit. Topping this all off are several encounters with apparitions, mysterious moved (and even moving) furniture, more distress calls and finally, just in the nick of time, a sweet young officer (Matt Doman) appears.

At first, Jessica thinks he's the ringleader of a bunch of cops trying to spook her, but he's so kind and sincere, it becomes apparent no such practical joke is occurring. He reveals that he was a rookie partner of her Dad. He speaks reverently about him and assures her he'll always be close by to look in on her.

As he turns to leave, Jessica notices that the back of his skull has a huge, gaping hole in it. Something is clearly rotten in the state of Denmark.

We're only a third of the way into the film and what follows is as hair-raising, chilling and shocking a series of events that put everything she's experienced into the realm of "kid's stuff".

To say Last Shift is terrifying is an understatement, but that it's superbly directed cannot be hammered home enough. DiBlasi has a great eye and feel for horror. Though we're in a claustrophobic setting, his widescreen and often single-shot compositions create an eerie feeling that we're following Jessica through some manner of purgatory and ultimately, Hell. With a myriad of shock cuts, a slow-sizzler pace and the heavy atmosphere of sheer creepiness pervades and assaults us with stylish aplomb.

The script is by no means completely all together. There are a few annoying logic issues and we're presented with a ten minute sequence near the end which feels like the picture's spinning its wheels. We're not bored so much as impatient for a resolution. Happily, we're offered even more scares and by the end, we're left breathless.

Last Shift grabs you by whatever appendages it can, twisting them to the max.

THE FILM CORNER RATING: ***½ Three and a half Stars

Last Shift is available on DVD from Anchor Bay Entertainment Canada. Feel free to order from the links below and in so doing, contribute to the ongoing maintenance of The Film Corner.

CANADA

USA

UK