Dir. Marvin Kren
Starring: Madita (AKA Edita Malovčić), Hille Beseler, Gerhard Liebmann, Wolfgang Pampel, Brigitte Kren, Peter Knaack, Michael Fuith, Murathan Muslu, Adina Vetter, Coco Huemer, Felix Römer, Santos as Tinnie the dog
Review By Greg Klymkiw
Ladies and gentleman, in honour of Marvin Kren's utterly insane alpine thriller Blood Glacier, please join me now in raising - not our right hands, but, our heads, hearts and voices to the heavens to sing the following ditty to the tune of the stirring German National Anthem:
Deutschland, Deutschland über alles,
thank you for this very fine film,
we will worship all you have to offer,
even when it inspires incontinence,
we will spew forth,
from our sphincters,
whilst you do scare the living shit from us…"
|Good creature features need BABES!|
Luckily, as this is a German movie,
it has a fair share.
|Poor Tinnie, So Cute,|
So utterly DOOMED!
The scientists express grave concern, not over a rabid fox or even other animals outside that have more than likely been infected by this mysterious entity. Rather, they're worried that a visiting delegation might decide not to come the next day if there's any hint at all of danger. More scientists, guides and an influential German Minister (a porcine battle-axe hausfrau type) are headed up to inspect the team's progress in order to assess the extension of funding for the environmental research activities at the alpine base station. Janek is appalled these supposedly good men and women of science would dare risk the safety of everyone for funding.
means never having to say:
"Bitte erlauben Sie mir,
Ihnen meine Wurst geben."
We even get some perfunctory romance since the chief scientist coming for a visit is Janek's former lover - a babe, naturally.
Director Kren (Berlin Undead) more-than-ably handles the suspense, elicits strong performances from his cast and makes excellent use of the real alpine locations. He also juggles the character dynamics of Benjamin Hessler's decent screenplay (one which offers just the right balance of smarts and entertaining stupidity). The special effects are also a big treat - a total blast of the ingenious low budget variety mixed with a few dabs of cheesiness (nothing too egregious, though). All the picture's technical credits including cinematography, cutting and a cool score all rank above and beyond the call of duty for a semi-by-the-numbers creature feature.
|There's nothing more DEADLY|
than a hausfrau with a DRILL!
Yeah, I thought so.
THE FILM CORNER RATING: *** Three-Stars
BLOOD GLACIER, a Raven Banner presentation of an Anchor Bay Entertainment Canada and Anchor Bay Films DVD on Aug. 19, 2014 with a fine new transfer. Sadly, the only extra feature is the original trailer. I'd have given my left testicle for a Marvin Kren commentary track. The movie enjoyed its World Premiere at TIFF's 2013 Midnight Madness. Here's some Amazon links to order Blood Glacier and some other delightful titles.
ANCHOR BAY ENTERTAINMENT
AND SCREAM FACTORY™,
IN AN UNPRECEDENTED PARTNERSHIP,
HALLOWEEN THE COMPLETE COLLECTION
BLU-RAY™ BOX SETS
Limited Edition 15-Disc Deluxe and 10-Disc Edition Brings Together ALL The Halloween Feature Films In One Massive Set For the First Time EVER; All-New Bonus Features, Collectible Packaging, and 40-PageBook Make This
THE Blu-ray™ Box Set Event of 2014!
Michael is Coming Home September 23
ANCHOR BAY ENTERTAINMENT CANADA OFFERS THIS EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT. AMAZON PRE-ORDER INFORMATION COMING SOON TO THIS WEBSITE FOR THIS………
ANCHOR BAY ENTERTAINMENT
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ORDER ANYTHING FROM AMAZON BY USING THE LINKS BELOW. CLICKING ON THEM AND THEN CLICKING THROUGH TO ANYTHING WILL ALLOW YOU TO ORDER AND IN SO DOING, SUPPORT THE ONGING MAINTENANCE OF THE FILM CORNER.